Wednesday, January 20, 2010

An' nothin's going to stop me but Divine Intervention

Okay, Lets talk about Mindfulness.   The basics of mindfulness are that you live in the moment.

You don't worry about what has gone past, because it's happened and you can't change in.

You don't worry about the future, because whatever you are thinking about might or might not happen. 

You live for the instant you are in, and unless you inflicting pain on yourself, right in this moment, there is nothing to worry about.  

Therefore, you should be constantly calm and content. 

However, it doesn't tell me what to do when I am REALLY tired.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

True and Do we care?

These are apparently All TRUE: 

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.. 
  •  Bollocks! Have you seen how much energy it takes to move your mouth! I think not! That would just exhaust me more.  Perhaps I am supposed to kick husband out of bed and get him to cut it all up for me. 

2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a belly button... 
 That would be because he was a balloon man.   He had a stopper.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.. 
  •  That's not all they will loose. Their looks, their friends; their clothes (and everyone else in their house) will all be smelly. They get deeper and faster wrinkles all round their face, and besides which it just makes them look MINGING. There is nothing remotely attractiver about smoking at all. 
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more. 
  • Yes, with other sick people, and obviously, if they have been sitting on stone steps they will get Piles, and if they stand in puddles, they will get cycstitus.  Yes, these are gems of my mother.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart! 
  • No. My bladder works when I sneeze. It forces EVERYTHING downwards.

6. Only 7% of the population are lefties
  • And we care because? 

7. 40-people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute. 
  • Anyone think maybe these are the people who shouldn't keep dogs?

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old. 
  • Actually, it is there, it's just soft, and hardens over the period between 2 - 6 years. 

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines. 
  • Not if your me. I don't do queues. I'd rather walk somewhere else, and do something else than queue. 

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498. 
  • Some people haven't realised that.

11. The average housefly lives for one month. 
  • Not in my house they dont.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. 
  • I could say, "why does that not surprise me", but I have to ask first, Ella - Have you been injured by your toilet, or anyone elses? 

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened. 
  • I tried this with a wooden one, and strangely it wasn't.  It was just loads of little splinters.

14.. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
  • You wonder how I get to see anything, cause I blink about 52 times a minute.  In the words of another Helen, "I like blinking"

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day. 
  • What about when you are coming home from a night out, and you are wearing Size 5 shoes, and your feet are wedged in them, looking approximately a Size 8. I think 100,000 females will testify to them being bigger then.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
  • Well if it is just one, I can rest assured because I ate a ladybird once knowingly, and therefore the spider will have company.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water. 
  • Obviously then, the ostriches are stupid, because they can't exactly dig with that mental bendy neck then can they?

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot. 
  • Yes, but if you throw a towel over a rabbit from a distance while having someone else dance around about them, you can still catch em.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and 'Tootsie.' 
  • How relieved is the worlds population about that!

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem. 
  • Not a lot of good to him now eh?

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk. 
  • Why?

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
  • Maybe not now, but they did when he was about 18months old. Oh Wow. What a hoo haa Princess Di kicked up with that one! her first attempt at wiping out the Royal Family in one swoop.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
  • I don't know, nor care what a carburetor is. 

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery. 
  • That is something I didn't really want to know.   I seen one once, and to think that came out of my Bottom is not a PLEASANT thought I want to remember.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins. 
  • As was Michael Jackson.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green....
  •  And it still wouldn't be better than Pepsi.