Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Pull me offa my knees

Get Back....Come on Before we crack....

This is Not What We look like - multiply the age by 3 (at least) multiply the body weight by 3 (at least), and make all the dancers not dance in time. - We've got the tune, we 've got the moves, we just don't do them in the right order!

Ha ha ha Tap Tonight.

I missed one night, last week, in a full year of Tap and bloody hell. They obviously think that we have become Kevin Bacon over the weekend. shit. That's all I can say. There are five or six new starts and they just stood their tonight... mouths open, and they were there last week..... What was I going to do.

What I do best. Freestyle. Just dance..... Like No one is watching.


Your clothes are clean and your mind is productive

So productive in fact that you are driving yourself insane. What you really need to do, is START setting up that business.

Work at setting up a home business, work at it in the evenings and weekends until you have it going and a small customer base and then go for it. Pack the job in and work for yourself.

Buy up a stash of stuff at wholesale prices and sell it on line. See what sells and concentrate on that.

Use your savings to start this. Why not? you said you aren't going to move.

Post man isn't going to like you very much - you might need a garage space - so that he isn't climbing 4 stories with all your packages.

Or why not sell crap.... betterware, avon, that health food pap?

Once you've got it going, you can employ me. We'll set up, with offices near COSTA and go for it?

Why not? You Only Live once.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I love You baby, and If It's quite alright... I need you

I found some poems today, well I didn't exactly find them I was directed to them, and they made me a bit sad.

It also made me realise how lucky I am to have what I have. I take it all for granted sometimes but really I am very very very lucky. Fantastic Husband, kids, nice house, mad mother, mad sister, great job.... happy kids, busy kids, husband who spoils me rotten. Husband who does too much for all of us, and me especially.

Life is good. Live each moment.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Bring it to me gently now

Monday over.

Is always good to get Monday out of the way. It passes quickly, but I could do with it finishing even faster. I'm so tired.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

take away my point of view, takeaway my right to choose

Truely. They rebounded the council areas a couple of years ago, and now Troon is banded in with parts of North Ayrshire. This makes me mad, because we now have an MP making decisions on our Town when he was never part of the Culture which is Troon.

I noted a little article in our Local Press this week, noting that "a new build for the secondary school is an option". Yes, we've been thru this so many times.

Our local Secondary was a gift from a Town Benefactor, who left the town, made his money in export and sent money home in the form of an educational trust to build a proud educational establishment, and provide for the education of the people of his home town.

The school was leased to the local council on a 25 year lease, to enable them to build an extension, which is a shoddy piece of work, not in keeping with the original structure. as part of this lease, the council, as lesees were to maintain the buildings upkeep, which it has to be said has not been done.

4 years ago. South Ayrshire Council entered into a Public Private Partnership (PPP) for new builds for school. It was agreed that because marr wasn't in fact "their" building that an investment in it could not be made.

They delay and delay and delay in the hope of the school becoming irreparable - in which case they can build a brand new one, and sell the original building for property development. However they still have a problem because as the building doesn't belong to them, the money would revert to the trust.

I get so angry. people who have no history of the school are making decisions on it's future.


And no, sorry, I can't call an Angel THAT big.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Does an Angel Contemplate My Fate

Not just one. But several.

One of the Strange things about Reiki is that I can call Angels. I don't say Summon, or Command... because you don't. You have to ask them nicely.

The results when you do ask them nicely are something to behold.

More later.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Friday on My Mind.....

the friday 5

What was the last important thing you were late for?
my work. Am always late for work.

What was the last important thing you were late with?
i don't tend to miss deadlines.... I don't think.

What (or who!) is the most frequent cause of your lateness?
my lack of concentration. I get easily distracted. I constantly find something else to do. Like on Wednesday, when I decided at 8.20 that then would be a good time to clean the Rabbit Hutch out. What the hell was i thinking?

Which of your close friends or relatives can you expect almost always to be inconveniently late?
No one... everyone else I know are ALWAYs on time. I think maybe because they are there waiting on me?

What’s most likely to cause you to stay up too late before bed?

Ha ! Missed this early. Thanks K. Simon keeps me up late before Bed. Or Is more frequently becoming Steven, with his late nights and partying.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

we are far too young and clever..............

Well is Thursday.

I got thru another week. Not the best week in the history of the world. Had a bit of a problem with Currency Swaps and Exchanges at work, but we are straight now.

Have been Davina'ing all week. Am feeling more supple now.

Have also managed to cut back on the food intake.

However, I am very sleepy. Very very sleepy.

I need my bed.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Pump p p pump pump p pump p pump

For the second day, I've got up at 6.30 ish.... (yesterday it was 6.15), and did my Davina work out.


My Butt is killing me.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

You're the light in my deepest darkest hour

And another weekend passes in a flash.

Friday night, kids at Orchestra, Mum up for a glass of Vino. Si at Scouts, and staying over for Zodiac night. Saturday morning, up and off to hockey with Eilidh. One wee lassie dislocated her finger and I had to run her home, and then bring her back cause her mum wasn't in.

Eils was brilliant on the hockey pitch, she dives about everywhere and whacks everyone with that stick! What a future!

Then it was home... quick snack and then off to watch Steven playing volleyball. Was a great game, against Su Ragazzi from Glasgow. They won! yeahhhhhh.

Then home. Over to Irvine to get Eilidh a pair of Boots (She was desperate and waving money at me). Boots Got. Si experienced the nightmare that is Eilidh footwear shopping. He was hysterical though, and managed to get her to to try boots on which I couldn't have even got her to look at.

Steven got in about 5.30, and we had tea, and a wee sit down, and he announced that he had a date. So I was back out at 7.20 to run him down to Ayr to meet the latest squeeze.

I stopped off at MacD and got the three of us McFlurries. We don't get dates so we have to indulge ourselves in Ice Cream.

At 1020, he phoned to say there wasn't another train for 4o minutes, so I took off and headed to Ayr again to pick him up.... we stopped at petrol station to fill up and then headed home.

I spent about an hour playing scrabble when I got in on www. I love it. Love It Love It.

Anyways, I headed to bed at 1.30 am, and left the boys sitting watching Joan of Arc.

I had such a lovely sleep... until 12, Was lovely. Really really was. Then I dragged myself and Eilidh up and we had a late breakfast / lunch and then wandered down to shops to pick up a few bits and pieces and then came back. Steven was playing volleyabll again, and Si was doing First Aid at Scouts.

So now we are sitting. All quiet. Watching Shameless, and I'm ready for my bed, to be honest.

Sleepy kinda of buggar.

Friday, January 18, 2008

What will I be... When I grow up to Be A Man...

K did a career test, and I was so impressed by it's analysis of her; i did it tooo.... and am equally impressed.

You would most enjoy a career that allows you to meet new people. You would also be happiest in a career that allows you to be free and flexible, and allows you to be extremely creative. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
  • Stockbroker - have been dealing shares this week
  • Secretary - done this
  • Receptionist - done this
  • Director -planing on doing this.
  • Recruitment Consultant - met a million of these
  • Politician - thought about it.....Monster Raving Looney
  • Marketing - No. Reject all aspects.
  • Human Resources Manager - No I hate people
  • Religious Minister - ha ha ha - No Agnostic
  • Teacher - Been there
  • Lawyer - Hate them
  • Advertising - Hate it.
  • Consultant - Been offered.
  • Financial Adviser - Work in Finance
  • Financial Planner -Work in Finance
  • GP - ha ha ha ha - I keep Doctors in Work
  • Physical Therapy - I need some
  • Occupational Therapy - I need some
  • Public Relations - Nope
  • Estate Agent - ha ha ha HAte them
  • Travel Agent - Nearly worked with them
  • Restauranteur - Yes I was
  • Hotel Manager- Yes I was
  • Events Organiser - Yes I was
You are a great leader. You genuinely enjoy being around other people. Your relationships with others are very important to you. You love talking and meeting new people. You are very enthusiastic about work and about all that you do and have in your life. You love being the focus of attention. You enjoy a fast pace. You are very socially oriented. Therefore, you are much happier being with others than you are alone. You crave interaction with others.

You are very spontaneous and often act before you think. You are always quick to answer when you are asked a question, even if you aren't sure of the answer. It is easier for you to improvise as you go along. You enjoy thinking out loud, and are most creative when brainstorming with friends or colleagues. You enjoy being involved in many activities.

You are very easy to read, and often wear your heart on your sleeve. You are never afraid to tell people what you think. You are very empathetic and genuine. You can sometimes be seen as over-emotional or too involved by others. But that is only because you tend to get so involved in the things you do that they become personal. You want to be adored, loved and appreciated. You like to please others and to make sure people are happy.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

Friday... I'm In Love. But the Friday 5 is a Hard One... and Might take some time

The Friday 5 - Very Hard This Week

The Travis McGee series of mystery novels by John D. MacDonald is famous for always including a color in its titles, such as The Dreadful Lemon Sky, The Girl in the Plain Brown Wrapper, and The Empty Copper Sea. What two or three similar titles could you give to events in your life in the past week?

The Beautiful Blue Sky (specifically Wednesday)

The Ghastly Grey Water (specifically today)

The Weird Chestnut Hair Do (specifically me)

The Kinsey Millhone series of mystery novels by Sue Grafton is famous for its alphabetical titles, such as A is for Alibi, K is for Killer, and M is for Malice. What two or three similar titles could you give to recent episodes at your workplace or school?

F is for Foosty Fridge

W Is for Wild Wind

M is for Mental Mate

Margaret Truman’s murder mysteries are known for being set in and around Washington, D.C. with such titles as Murder at the Pentagon, Murder at the Kennedy Center, and Murder on Capitol Hill. What are two or three similar titles you could give to episodes of great inconvenience to you around your hometown?

Strangulation at Scotts

Murder at Marr

Tripping Up in Troon

Susan Conant’s Dog Lover Mysteries often contain dog-related puns, such as A New Leash on Death, Paws Before Dying, and Dead and Doggone. If a series of books were to be written about your favorite hobby, what might some of the punny titles be?

What a Wicked Web we Knit

Walking into Weird Things

The Three Investigators series of juvenile mysteries often explores baffling phenomena that turn out to have perfectly reasonable explanations, such as The Mystery of the Invisible Dog, the Mystery of the Headless Horse, and the Secret of the Haunted Mirror. What would be a couple of similar titles you could give for the last few things that mysteriously disappeared from your possession?

The Mystery of the Missing Mechanical Pencil

The Mystery of the Disappearing Red and White Shirt which Everyone hated but Me.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

So don't you bring me down today

I got my hair cut and coloured today.

Very nice it is too, but I did say, cut it thin on the sides because I've got fuzzy wuzzy hair and it needs to be tamed. And I did say, I'd like to be able to see out of the front of my hair. So I'm sitting here, with a fringe which is meeting below my eye line, and bunching over my ears. Hmmm. Maybe is best she did her own thing. The mood I'm in just now I could have done a britney and shaved it all off.

Not quite sure what is wrong with me right now. Still taking the pills, but increasingly finding myself loosing control over silly situations. Fantastically I am noticing it tho, and bringing it back under control, but it is a bit worrying.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

"for cryin out loud" she screamed unto me

No Heat pack today. I decided to go cold turkey. There's only so much heat you can put on your back without sustaining permanent damage.

Anyways. I think it is cold today, so the cold will numb any back pain I have.

A miracle happened this morning. Both my children got out of bed, THEMSELVES, without either Si or Me screaming constantly at 2 minute intervals. Hence I'm sitting here at 8.00 and everyone is ready to leave. I can have another cup of coffee and sit quietly for a while! Thanks Clocky.

If you have problems getting up - get one of these. They run away when the alarm goes off, and seem to have some ability to sense walls and find the furthest distance away from the risers! tee hee.

Isn't Louis Theroux Excellent? Sadly. He doesn't have a current Active Webpage. Weird.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

We'll just move somewhere else, and still carry on


What can you do?

I ordered a latin book today. I want to relive my Latin Classes at School. Heaven's I'm going to be well educated and happy in a few months.

I forgot my pedometre today, which is stupid, because I have to try and work out my daily steps, and then increase them, however, I believe that throwing a walk into the town on a daily basis and bouncing around on my stepper will have a beneficial effect. so I will keep it up!

Morrison sell chocolate Elves. They are the best thing. They have space dust in them, which, when it hits your tongue explodes. I have one right now and I can hear the crackling in my head. Lovely.

cannot be arsed at all today. Need to sleep. More.

Monday, January 14, 2008

C'mon honey, let's go make some noise

No Manicness today. Had a lovely day off. My lovely husband was going into work, but decided to phone in for his flexiday after realising the consuming 3 bottles of wine between us (he drunk one himself), was not the best idea on a Sunday night and he was feeling pretty groggy.

he seen off the kids, and then came back to bed, and the pair of us snuggled up, and went back to sleep until 11. It was lovely. I crawled out of bed - back still sore, however I have to report that after 1 bottle of wine it was feeling great. I had an eggy sandwich and then showered and put a new heat pack on. It is lovely. Is like a belt with a magic hot bottle stuck on the back. Am very very attached to it, almost as good as my ear muffs!.

We've just come back in from a lovely walk to the town. I figured it made sense to walk would be better to sit and be uncomfortable. My back was fine til the slight incline on the way home. Lifting my legs for that was uncomfortable on my back, but that wasn't bad. Must have been 4.5 miles easy. Which is cool!

And, I've just heard that Davina's DVD is on its way to me, so bounding around of an evening is going to start.

boy Day Time TV is bouf.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I Hurt myself today

Actually, it was Friday night, but the pain since then has been building and building.

Slowly its getting a wee bitty better cause I have got Nurofen Heat Patches stuck on my butt.

I can't explain to someone who has never had a bad back how bad the pain is, I actually feel physically sick.

It a complete buggar, because I've been feeling great, and now this ache in my lower back is wrecking my whole body. Going to bed doesn't help because lying down, can only be in ONE position and every move out of it is excruciating. I'm so tired.

I found this for K. Enjoy.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

flood the world deep in sunlight.................

I worked today. I'm not fussy about working the weekends, except that I get the day off in lieu. It was quite busy today. Folk coming in and out. It's a nice part of the job. Chatting to the Customers in the Marina. I think it is kind of like working in a holiday resort.

Everyone is still a bit upset about the death on Thursday/Friday. A poor woman threw herself into the harbour at the Calmac Ferry Terminal and washed up on the beach in the morning.

It was such a beautiful day on Friday.

I kept thinking to myself, if only she had waited until the morning, until the sun came up and new day started. Everything is always better in the morning. A cold harbour in the dark is no place to be when you are sad. Even the beach would have been better.... not somewhere that is dark, full of dark corners, and cold water. How awful must she have been feeling to think that the deep cold sea would be better than life. Having feelings no matter how sore they were, must surely be better than nothing at all.

Awful Awful Sad. Her poor family.

Friday, January 11, 2008

O h My Gawd I can't believe it.......

what did I do! Am off my head. Totally.

Anyways. Won't be doing it again. I'm mad. totally! Am a chook! ha ha ha - Well Gave K and Me a Giggle Anyway. Jees! Oaft.


nah Is Totally Secure, I spent ages doing it.....


Under what conditions can you have the perfect nap?
This is a lovely question, I can have a nap under any conditions, in the car, at my desk, leaning against a wall, on the carpet, in a chair, on the couch, and also in my bed. The only problem with the bed issue, is that it turns from a nap, into a full blown sleep. I slept once for 45 minutes at my desk in Jacobs. I only woke up when someone opened the door. Bummer. But it was great, I dribbled and dreamt and everything.

Under what conditions can you let most of your guard down?
When I don't take the pills. When I don't take the pills, I am completely and utterly open to the elements, can't hold a thing in. Cry at Adverts, Cry when I'm happy, tell people what I feel /think and then instantly regret it.

Under what conditions can you do your best writing?
When I have a nice desk, nice paper and a happy pen. Sometimes I have nice writing if I borrow someone else's pen who has nice writing. Because I am psychic I can feel other people on the pen, and pick up their writing.

Under what conditions would you give away everything you own?
If the happiness of my children and my husband depended upon it.

Under what conditions would you kiss a stranger?
Point me in the directions of his lips!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

For one of your smiles.

And so the keep fit regime continues.

I had sat on the couch with my risotto, (yum) and thought, "now I could go to bed". However, I thought I should go and check my mum. I was going to walk, then I decided to drive. Then my honey said "I'll walk with you". So I decided to walk again.

We walked over the golf course which wasn't the best idea in the world. Golf Course, night time, Dark, Puddles, Whin Bushes. The Stars were glorious - and we stopped to look at them rather than try and walk and look at the same time, which tended to make me step in puddles.

Mars is in the Sky in the just above Orien, and it is soooooo bright. Lovely. I haven't had time lately to just stand and look at the stars. I should.


Don't my honey look gorgeous in his bunnet!

When all the colors will bleed into one

I finally found what I've been looking for.

£89,000. Was quite a lot of money. I knew basically where it was. I just couldn't prove it. Is very difficult to try and prove when you are speaking to a bunch of bankers on one side, and ce french peeople on t'other. Mmm.

Anyways. I found it. It is where it is supposed to be right now, and everyone is happy. Well sort of. It was gone for 4 weeks. We weren't getting interest, our supplier wasn't releasing documents, our customer couldn't take the product. All very sad. However, I will nag people until I find out where it all went.

I'm thinking about having a walk tonight, but after a gorgeous plate of Risotto, (*Yes K, Risotto - since you wont let me have it for eating when we go out), I have to have it when we are home. I now actually feel like having a wee sleep. I'm thinking that I will just nip over and have a wee snooze on Si's lap.

Yawn... Eye's shutting.... here I go.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The Sight of You Leaves Me Weak.........

Okay Cathmel.....

I'm beginning to see where you are coming from. He is appearing more and more on TV and his patter is uncontrollable. I was just watching him on Big Brother... (I watched alan cumming and then I watched him. I WON'T be watching again). He is really really amusing - he thinks too. You can see that. .

I bought my mum his BookyWook for Christmas. Think I'll have to borrow it off her and have a wee read thru.

Tonight I did 9 minutes on my side stepper. Jesus. Good thing was tho, that I had my MP3 player on which made the time go. Only problem was I had my back to the door, so Stevo kept coming in and giving me a major fright when I caught sight of him.

Also did 2 sets of 20 sit ups. Am feeling positive!

Oaft. Have to go to bed now. Si and Steven are watching Hugh Ferninly Whittingstal kill chickens again. I can't stand it. I can't buy the chickens on the supermarket shelves, 2 for a £5. If I buy a chicken I have to go for the Happy Free Range Chick.... Si hasn't actually noticed that I haven't been buying chicken much these days. Fillets I can cope with..... I can't relate that to a real chicken. Which is maybe bad, no it is bad. But I like the taste of chicken. oh buggar. I'm thinking maybe I can't eat chicken again! Oaft. Hell's teeth. How difficult is this? I love Cows too? Maybe I need to turn Veggie?


Tuesday, January 08, 2008

There's No Need to Feel Down......

The Dancing RAF Man.

If you like this... Visit Cancer Research and donate. ..... What a cracker!

Monday, January 07, 2008

I never needed anyone.... Making Love was Just ....

Humph, Alone Again.......... I'm feeling Sad, like Mary Poppins. Raindrops and Roses and Kittens with Mittens? Is that right? Mm. Thinking not.

Si in Arran. Again. Steven at volleyball (where else), Eilidh at Volleyball (where else). Me, Here. Dishes waiting to get done, washing waiting to get hung up. It's not as much fun running a house when you are here yourself. Just want to sit here. Well that's not true. What I want to do is to go to bed. I'm very very tired.

Mondays do that to me. I'll be okay tomorrow, but tonight... Tired.

Tonight Steven and I have collected his paper money and filled in the forms for the Spar. Nightmare. Two weeks. We can't leave it two weeks again! It was the holidays that did that to us tho.

Oh heavens. I have to go. Sit down comfortable somewhere. Too tired to sit here.


Sunday, January 06, 2008

And fooling around is over ... I swear it's true

So, the wee counter on the side of the blog...... I can jog for aout 400 metres before I collapse on a heap on the pavement. I aim to get that little counter down, to the point where I can jog for 5 kilometres. - Seriously, If I can get it up to 2km I'll be soooo chuffed.

Detox starts here. Started with a Cold shower this morning. That's what K's book told me to do. Have a normal shower, maybe a couple of degrees colder, and then for the last 15 seconds turn it down as cold as you can...... and scrubb your body hard. Wow. What a wake up. Didn't help that Si had done it in the shower before me, so I started cold too.

Si and Me are going to clear the crap from the shed this morning, take Stevo to Volleyball, have a general tidy, pick up last bits of shopping... and then..... well I'm not sure.

I've just ordered Davina's 3 30 minute work outs..... so that, coupled with the tap dancing, coupled with the I will jog. I should be gorgeous sooooooo soon.

Not that I am not already gorgeous. Just even more so.

Gran away to Lanzarote today. Just found that out on Tuesday. She's always off.


Saturday, January 05, 2008

I believe that fate has brought us here................

I had lunch today with the loverly K.

She is completely bonkers. Totally.

Finally told me something about someone which she hadn't told me before. She seemed to think that I would know that I had known... but I didn't, I trusted what she had said before. She is truly aff her bonce. Seriously. However, now I do know, and I can chuckle quite happily. I won't do anything with the information....I'm not a bad person, seriously I'm not. But at least I have a name to the face. Not the name i'm used to, but it is the right name now.

Our meal was loverly. I had the best calamares ever..... then penne marco polo - which was penne pasta with duck in a plum sauce.; Scrummy scrummy; then believe it or not....... tiramisu. It was all gorgeous. And I ate it all. Every last morsal. Well I lie, I left about 8 pieces of penne, but that was all okay, because I ate, the duck and the sauce and the mushrooms. Fantastic.

Then I had a wee bimble into Braehead, and got nail fixing things, and now I have infilled my nails, and replaced my broken one for the price of £7.00 instead of £5.00 for a new nail and £22 for the infills. Excellent eh? And they are all okay. I am in awe of myself. My nails are fantastical.

Night night.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Friday 5

The Friday 5

In 2007, who most made you laugh?
Ha....Heavens, who made me laugh. K - for just being pure flipping mental.

In 2007, who most inspired you?
Gary Barlow. Seriously.

In 2007, who taught you the most?
I taught me calmness and acceptance. K taught me, is okay to be mad. And now I know the voices are good.

In 2007, who encouraged you the most?
My Husband, who encourages me in EVERYTHING I decide to go for.

What did you do in 2007 that will have the most positive effect on your 2008?
Became a Reiki Practitioner. Sounds bonkers I know - but I don't plaster it on people, I use it for myself and my own calmness.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I've got another confession to make..................

I'm no fool.

I had family dinner tonight.

Was lovely. My babies..... the eldest of whom was recovered from the excess cider from the night before..... My littlest baby, who is the most sensible, intelligent, grown up Lady in the whole wild world (and definitely in this house). My Honey, who did ALL the work (excepting the soup.... which I made.. {actually my soup was a bit non-eventful}), the salmon, the fillet, the thingies..... cheesecake and .... a praline chocolate brownie type thing......., Mum,. Iain, Nant and Nunk.

Then we played Wii. Ha ha What a laugh.

It was brilliant. Steven created little mii's for everyone - well Iain,. Nunk and Nant - cause the rest of us had them... Imagine, Nunk - at 84, being Sonic........running a race... wait til I download the photos. Excellent. Everyone was happy, we were all laughing.

It was lovely.


1. Will practise my Reiki
2. Will make sure I get my jogging up to 60 minutes.
3. Will be slim and Gorgeous by April. So I bloody will, watch and enjoy.


Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot......

At the bells we were wondering why the Singer on the TV was being drowned out by someone in the studio playing a different tune on the pipes... only to discover.

that Jamie was outside playing in the New Year......

All Steven's mates were around... but where was Steven........

Hmmmm ... They all looked a bit confused and then admitted that Steven was lying asleep on the couch having drunk the contents of his cider bottle.... 1½ litres of scrumpy. hmmm indeed. Steven, having spent 15 minutes lying on top of the toilet pan, is now safely tucked up in bed, complete with towels and basin and big glass of water.

He said he didn't need painkillers. He didn't have a head ache.

Och... He Will......