Monday, December 31, 2007

How can I compensate... for my indiscretions dear

Jesus. I've had to suffer it again; My daughter re-enacting my performance last night. How many times can a mother take this?

Her "Have a Good time last night mum"

Me - Dies on spot and thinks "..... it's been forever....... She had been in her bed for about 3 hours.....She must have been sleeping.... I'm sure I kept my mouth shut.............
but says

"Yes, Petal I did, Your dad is a stud muffin".

Her " I never thought it was going to end.... it lasted three songs"

Me - "Si" (Loudly to bring him in to the joyous conversation)

- Guess what?........... you lasted three songs last night.....That must be some kind of record".

And so the discussion went on for some 30 minutes or so, Son joining in as well, to admit that he thought his sister had been hallucinating......while both children discussed the relative merits / problems / hysteria of having parents who have sex.

I think they should be grateful that they have the same two parents, who have beeen together for 21 years and STILL WANT to have sex!


Sunday, December 30, 2007

then one snowy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say

Flipping Hairies... Is NOT a Hill
Check this out!!! And this with his phone.. this is how close it was to him. Brilliant eh?

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Suddenly the air smells much greener now......

My honey is away in the hills again. Today he sent me about 5 pictures of hills, but none of them were the hill I wanted to see. I've been there, where he is before, a couple of times, but the last time I was there I was very very ill.

The day before we had been in Inverness, and took a visit to the glen morangie distillery. it was all very lovely - they still have 16 men of Tain who produce the stuff, and very nice it is too. We bought a lovely bottle to take home with us, but the joy of the evening in the hotel made us drink the stupid bottle. Well to be honest, I think I drunk more of it than Si. Next morning I couldn't move. I was horrendously ill in the room, horrendously ill in about 6 laybys on the way from Inverness to Fort William.

By Glen Nevis I had recovered sufficiently to stand by the river and contemplate throwing myself in. If we had gotten there 2 hours before, I couldn't have stood up. My poor children, what must they make of me?

Anyways, after a breath of air in Fort William - see the place is good for something (I Don't mean that, I LURVE FOrt William - a very good ex friend of mine lived there - she left tho), we headed South and reached the hills where my husband be now.

Heavens, I had reached that point of recovery where EVERYTHING is beautiful. the ground, the smell of rain on a hot road, thistles, dog poo, smelly hillwalkers. We got out and went for something to eat. Note the state of my recovery. I WANTED to eat something. The restaurant there is something to behold. They actually cater to everyone's requests. You want something a little bitty different from their intensive menu... they make it. And even tho you queue canteen style, someone ends up bringing the food to the table. You can't fault it. Is brilliant. They also have lovely outdoor shops, delicatessen, and sweetie place. Oaft; is Heaven in the HIghlands.

But anyways, I digress. After we had eaten, and I actually managed to keep food down. We stood outside at car and enjoyed the air. Truely is fantastic air there, and just to stand and look at the hills is awe inspiring.

They are so high. And beautiful. And they make you forget the crap in the world. Honest they do. This is anotheer reason for getting fit this year. I want to climb them. I want to climb them all. And I intend, by May, and this is the first time I have put a target on paper (albeit electronic), that I will be ready to climb.

The hard work starts here.

Wait a minute can't you see that I

Am not really that old.

Despite the fact that I ran into a customer from work today, who asked if "these are your children?".....

I was with Eilidh, who I will admit, is one of my children, but I was also with K, who I consider to be one of my best friends!

Okay - so she is 14 years younger than me. She was 29 this year, and I was 43. However, we are both the same mental age. Next year, she will be in her Thirties. (Already in your thirtieth year, as you pointed out)., I will still be in my forties. So in fact she is catching up with me.

It makes me sad tho, that he looked at the three of us, and saw Mother and Two Daughters. That has signed my fate. I was intending to "make over" this year. Get Fit, loose weight... but now, I think I will opt for plastic surgery also. Then I will stand the offender in front of me again, standing next to K and Eilidh...... and see what he thinks then.


I drowned a thousand times, and I go back to....


The love for my son is such, that even during holidays, I will forcibly drag myself out of my bed, then drag him out, send him out on the first half of his paper run, (which has the heaviest papers), and make his breakfast and then take over for him.

Says Me "is it cold out".
Say He "nope, it's not too bad".
Say Me, "okay".

I leave as he pulls together 3 changes of clothes (is very very hard training he is doing), and hand him some drink and some dosh.

I get on bike, and as I cycle across the road, the rain starts. Then the wind gets up.

I delivery my first 5 papers, and look back and see his lift waiting outside the house for him.... where is he? I watch for a couple of minutes and then he bimbles out.

I set off again. Son goes past in car and waves.

I deliver more. Rain becomes torrential, and of a make up I have not seen before (it's probably been there, I've just never been stupid enough to go out in it). It is hitting my face, and stinging. My throat is killing me, my chest starts to heave, I cough and cough, (no this time, I don't actually pee myself), but I do manage a wee throw up.

As I finish the last few papers and cycle back, a Recycle bin, tries to drive towards me on the wrong side of the road, blocking the exit from the street I am on, and the entrance to the cycle path. These are council employees. Do they not have minimum standards?

I signal to them, that they are blocking my route and the signal - all three of them, that I should cross to the opposite side of the road - I signal back that I am trying to get directly behind them, and am not infact turning on to the main road, - and yet they signal still, so I begin to turn out,on to the wrong side of the road, and around their back. You'd think they would wait wouldn't you... but no - as I get to the side of the lorry, I hear the reversing beeps starting. How fripping mad.

Be lucky council men that I was wet, the rain was getting heavier and harder and I wanted to get home to throw up. Arses.

I got in. had a wee throw up,,,, and now, I'm going back to bed with US Weekly (Thank you Mr Postman), and a cup of tea.


Friday, December 28, 2007

Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry

K meets Jesus on the bus.

I forgot to mention to her, that I met him on my Christmas Night out in Largs.

Was definitely him. I'm not sure what her Jesus looks like, but mine looked like Jesus, just before he got arrested. Only problem I had with him was that he had eye liner on. How Do I know this? Well I was contemplating how I could take a photo of him, with my phone, subtlety because since the bar was so empty he was sitting by himself. L asked me what was troubling me and I explained about K's relationship with Jesus and how I wanted to check it was the same one, with a photo. And L said,, "Oh wow - Yeah, the Jesus thru there with the eye liner on".

He knew we were talking about him. Because Jesus knows everything apparently.

(i know this guy is actually Pete Wentz - but if you imagine him with longer hair, and no hat, and of course the loin cloth, this is really what jesus looked like)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Think of me and celebrate .......................

Lay in bed til 10 this morning. I love lying in. Still snottery. Didn't have any night nurse last night to send me off to sleep.

Si and I took a wee trip into the town to obtain some more medicines. I got cough medicine - the cold is in my chest now - coughing results in spluttering all over the place, and unless I'm sitting still and being focused, a bit of a leak. And night nurse to ease sleep. Lovely. Lovely Lovely. I stay clear of Covonia now, because it is lethal - two spoonfuls and you are gone.

I'm feeling very fired up today.........all ready to dive into the new year as a new me. I'm ready to start now. Loose weight, practice my Reiki, keep my blog up to date. All ready to go. I'm still knitting too. clicky clicky.

Have to see K this weekend. Have her Chrissy pressie here for her. Stevie is playing Volleyball on Friday and Saturday so I'll take him up there, and drop in to see her, or meet her in the town. How you fixed for that K?


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Breathing with sweet memories.........

Christmas almost done and dusted. It isn't really until after Boxing Day eh? When we are still sweating off the excesses of Christmas day?

Am stuffed with the cold. As is my mum,.... must have been a duff batch of flu jabs this year. This is my first cold in about 18 months, which isn't bad going considering I used to get one every 6 weeks or so.

Quiet day yesterday. Kids actually stayed in bed til 9, and then we had a slow rise. Everyone got loads of lovely pressies. I got A beautiful handbag, and purse. Oh if only I keep it good... it will last for ages. Both leather. both gorgeous.

Had a lovely meal. Si excells himself every year. I don't think you ever loose the knack do you? We are taking it easy today. I stayed in bed til feeling sorry for myself and runny nose. I watched Happy Feet, and then the Longest Yard lovely.

Si and the boy got up and went to Mr M's for Boxing Day drinks. I decided not to because my nose was running too too much.

Eilidh and I took a wee run out to the garage to get some milk - everywhere was shut. All of Troon, literally. Irvine too. Well I say Irvine. Tesco.... which is the hub of all life in North Ayrshire was closed - but Comet / Powerhouse/ Homebase all open for the sales. I really can't be bothered with these things./

And I'm ready.

Ready to get ready for the rest of life. I don't want to eat too much. I don't want to drink too much, I just want to be happy and healthy. Right now I may be happy. but not healthy. Give me 5 months. I will be.


Monday, December 24, 2007

I really can't Stay... Baby Don't hold out....

Okay, so I don't have alcoholic poisoning. I have the cold. In fact I probably have flu, but since I have a strong constitution, this will be why I'm not showing the full symptoms.

My nose hasn't stopped running all day. Is red raw now, and I still have sore ribs from the other day...... that would be the food poisoning...... and when I sneeze it hurts like mad.

Eilidh and me been in the office since 10 am this morning. Bored Bored Bored, and still haven't finished! Aw well, not long to go now and we can go home.

He sings a love song, as we go along... waking in a winter wonderland.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

But heaven knows... I'm miserable now.

Two Christmas night outs in three days, and now I'm feeling it. I actually look like I have been punched in the face, i'm so bloated with alcohol.

I'm looking forward to the new year, when I will detox and run and run and run and run. I will take my inspiration from Gary Barlow - when he was on Jonathon ross a month ago - he has lost sooo much weight, he looks amazing.

So here is me on Thursday night....

And in 5 months I will be gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous! (I know I'm gorgeous here, but heavily gorgeous. I want to have ONE chin and cheekbones. not CHEEKS


Friday, December 21, 2007

The Friday 5

1. Pick one label that you think does describe you (race, religion, hobby, etc.).


2. Pick one label that is often put on you, that you really think is inaccurate.


3. Pick one label you wish could be put on you.

Slimly gorgeous

4. What is one kind of label that you think is universally wrong to use (race, gender, height)?

whateverchallenged. (i.e, vertically challenged, when short will do)

5. Labels, used intelligently, can be a convenient rhetorical shorthand for identifying how a given person will fit into (or react to) a given situation. Labels, used incorrectly, can be an excuse for dismissing the differences still inherent in the people to whom the label is applied. Discuss.


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I believe in angels, when I know the time is right for me

Went to a Christmas Concert last night at the school, which was nice. Well, Christmassy. Some of the turns were a bit suspect... hmph,, I think that was bad, considering I didn't have any kids performing. Well none of my own. Steven's gang - Keith, Gayle, Laura, and Jamie - oaft, and James were performing and individually they were great. Saying nothing else.

Anyways, went, and it was freezing. The nights are getting longer and longer and colder and colder. My hands still haven't warmed up. Brrrrrrr.

Si came home this afternoon. I was looking for the ferry and he phoned to say he was standing by the car. He couldn't believe the cold either. So I headed out, had a quick snog and then he came home. Him and Steven are away out tonight, Scouts/Explorers night out. They are at the Maharani and Ten Pin Bowling.

Me and Eilidh are just sitting here FREEZING.


Monday, December 17, 2007

Why am I up the tree, you say? Why are you down there.

I was never cut out to be a single parent.

I am exhausted.

Si went to Arran this morning until Wednesday morning. I came home from work, at 5.30, peeled potatos, put sausages in the oven, and then washed the dishes left from last night. I set out the tea, after chasing Steve away to collect money. We had our tea, then flew back out to collect more money. We came back in and I drove Steven to Volleyball Coaching. Then we came back and I forced Eilidh to go and collect one house, I did two more.

We got in, Eilidh wanted to bring the tree in. So tree came in and I left her to decorate while I tried to sort out Steven's money.

I had to try and re-pot the tree while it was in it's pot, as it was sitting at a 70 degree angle. We've moved it a wee bitty. and now that it is decorated it's looking great.

I flew back out to buy bread and collect Steven. Then I came back, helped Eilidh finish the tree, made Chocolate and Tea, and Toast, and then sat here, to write letters for Steven to take to school tomorrow.

Jees. All I want to do is go to bed. Yawnnnnnnn

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Friday, December 14, 2007

Friday 5

What’s your favorite song about growing up?
I'm thinking about this, will come back to it.

What’s your favorite song about cars or driving?

Born to Run, Frankie Goes to Hollywood Version... although I love the Brucey version too.

What’s your favorite song whose title is a person’s name?
Right now is Delilah by Plain White T's, is gorgeous song. Otherwise, Delilah by the Sensational Alex Harvey Band.... which strangely enough features a few entries down on this very blog.

What’s your favorite get-up-and-dance song?
I dance to most things, In shops, If I hear Barry White, I can't stop. I tap dance (from my classes) to Frank Sinatra, Latoya London, and Jackson 5 - Big Bad Leroy Brown, Don't Rain on My Parade, and Rockin Robin. I Lurve Dancing, would dance all the time. Am frequently seen dancing in the street.

What’s your favorite novelty song?
Russ Abbot - Oh What An Atmosphere.... Fantastic. Enjoy............ What a man!!! Legend!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Keep On Dancing... Do the Locomotion Yeah.... Welll


Dancing Display tonight.

Bloody hell, it doesn't have go quick. But still knackers me. I had a couple of blank spots in the middle, Fiona was standing behind me screaming instructions at me to keep me right! ha ha what a giggle.

Eilidh was away at SChool Dance tonight. Paid £15 to get her hair done, and the curls were out, before she left the house!!! Waaaaaaa. She looked gorgeous. All made up, beautiful dress on.... aw, she is soooo precious.

Steven was at Scouts getting Queens Scout Platinum Award and his Bronze Duke of Edinburgh. Si went to see that.

Best laugh of today : I got a funny from Jacqui, which involved editing a cartoon with your own pictures. I edited it, for Wee Devils enjoyment, forwarded to her with express instructions NOT to show it to anyone, and tonight I get text from her.

OH F&(K. Have just looked at cartoon, O M G - I forwarded it to Big Sexy before I looked at it,.

O M G If I could only explain!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I've been an awfully Good Girl.............


There is nothing better, than when you meet Santa, and you shout him over, he gives you a cuddle, and then says, "Dogwithnobrain, what do you want for Christmas?"

My daughter is 13, and is still overcome with awe when Santa asks me questions by name.

Santa was outside our house tonight, he was having a wee drive round the town in his float. I was lucky to see him.

I'm glad I did - it's nice to have a cuddle with a friendly Santa.


A crowded room, friends with tired eyes .....

I have eight days left to work, including today. I am really looking forward to my holidays. A couple of weeks with my kids and my honey. Oh wow. Not that I'll probably see much of Steven, I've never know a boy to be out and about so much.

He didn't make the final cut for the NT Squad for December matches, but I know Steven, and He'll be playing his butt off from here on in until he does. Is fine about it - he always says that he prefers to work for a place. That's always been his attitude with football and I think he's going to be even more determined with the volleyball.

I have knitted about 7 hats now. They are getting better and better with each one! Oaft. All these happy people at Christmas time when they get their lovely hats!

Tee hee


Sunday, December 09, 2007

I watched and went out of my mind

Today, my boy was at a selection training session for the Scottish National volleyball squad, for a game coming up 20 and 21 December. He says he wasn't nervous, but I have never seen him leave the house as quickly as he did this morning, and we had to drag Tool out the house mid-tooth brush (which she didn't forgive us for).

We got him there in plenty of time, and then left him to his fate! We had to leave him .... is something he can only do by himself, and us sitting watching and waiting wasn't going to help him. I have been so nervous all day , and now we sit here, knackered, and we still don't know. An email is getting send out tomorrow. And so we wait.

During the 6 hours of training. (YOu should have seen the sweat on them all ), we drove to Livingston, wandered around the Livingston Designer Outlet. Looked for Shoes for Eilidh EVERYWHERE. Then drove to Glasgow Fort, quite nice, actually, the piped Christmas music was everywhere, coming out of the walls, so was quite festive.

We found Santa and I went for a hug. Santa was a big dumbfounded. There are all these PC regulations these days about no touching, but hey -It's Santa, and I needed a cuddle, unfortunately Santa was slightly smaller in height than me, but aw well, I got my cuddle!

Jees. Life Is Exhausting. Work again tomorrow. And I've downed a 3/4 bottle of wine. Yum. I needed to. Am very stressed for my boy, and HE SAYS I HAVEN'T TO READ HIS EMAILS TOMORROW. HE WANTS THE NEWS!!!! NIGHTMARE!

Anyways. I thought I would leave you with a little Sensational Alex Harvey Band... this has to be one of the best pop performances of all time. FANTASTIC.

Friday, December 07, 2007

The Friday 5

friday 5

What playground game do you remember most fondly?
Skipping. All the rhymes we sung, and double dutch. I got my daughter two huge ropes this year. Heavens, where did my energy go? About 10 skips and I was wheezing for breath. And could we get the Double Dutch going? Could we hell as like!

What playground game did you just hate? Kiss, Cuddle or Torture. Hated running, hated being caught, hated the boys in my class who might do one, or all three to me.

Which playground apparatus did you most enjoy? The May Pole, at Coney. Was like a roundabout - but designed like a maypole, so not only did it go round like a round-about it also swung like a swing. Very dangerous. This is the only picture I could find of one like it!

Which playground apparatus did you generally avoid or not care much for? Climbing Bars. I'm so crap at upper body strength. Couldn't swing from the ladders, couldn't heave myself up. Pathetic.

What playground game might be really fun if grownups played it with adult rules? High Tig Low Tig. I've played that as a grown up. With Grown ups! In a shop! Great Fun. Clambering all over the flipping clothes stands and the counter. What a balL!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

You said you would always stay

Last night Si went camping with the Scouts. Now I know not everyone is here in Sunny Scotland, but Camping??? On First December???? In Ayrshire? I ask you. Now I'm not a Scout, I'm not an outdoory type of person really, but I knew that yesterday was not camping weather! But no, three leaders and 6 Scouts... away off and up a hill! Flipping Hairies.

As I sat in front of the TV at 9 pm, with the rain hitting the back window so hard I had to turn the volume up to drown it out, I thought. What were they thinking? The wind then started to get up, and bins were banging, and trees were howling. Wasn't good. When I left to get Steven at 1050 (He was at the Indian with the Belarus Ladies Volleyball team), it was pouring, blowing a gale and thunder and lightning! Yes! And they were up a hill! In a Tent!

We had to get up at 745 this morning, as Stevo was playing in the Power League for Volleyball. We dropped him at 9.20 at the Kelvin Hall and started our rounds of shoe shops in Glasgow looking for the perfect Pink Sparkly shoe for school dance. We must have walked 5 miles around Glasgow and got nothing. O M G Our legs where killing us!

We took a run out to Kirsty's to give her her birthday present. A lovely pair of vibrating pants, and a beautiful, "by helen" scarf. We had cream cakes and cookies and a cup of tea. I raided Kirsty's Box Room (Not Cupboard), and seen if there was anything I could steal. There was, infact, many many things I could steal, but I refrained!.

We headed back to Kelvin Hall for three and were in time to watch Steven sleeping at the side of the pitch (he was supposed to be linesman), and then we headed back down the road, to be met by the lovely smell of tea cooking.

I love my husband. He'd better always stay.