Conceal, don't feel, Don't let them know....

I've been away for a while...

Don't get me wrong, I've been about, in an nondescript sort of way.   But I've not been myself.

I have an underlying depression problem, and despite managing it very well for years.... I haven't had a day off my work with it for 10 years, I started to slip in September.  I told the Doctor I thought it was the stress of the Independence Referendum (Scotland) that did it.  He said, he thought that was the straw that broke the pony's back.

We tried different pills.  I was sick.

We tried more the same pills.    No change.

We tried new pills.  Yay.  I felt more calm the same day I started taking them, but it was about 10 days before I actually lifted my head from the desk and thought,"I'm back".  I could think, I wasn't panicking, thoughts were clear in my head.

Phew.

I don't know if many of you suffer from depression, but it is a very hard thing to convey to someone when you are in a pit.  This time, for the very first time, I had cried in front of someone.  I had warned the owner of my company that I was struggling slightly and he told my line manager.  My line manager called me in and wanted to know what could be done to "fix me".

The frustration of that question just set me off.  Nothing can be "done".  I have a chemical imbalance. medication will correct it - and it was just a case of giving me time until "I" came back.

I've got used to the glances to see if I am "coping", and it's quite funny now I'm "back".  "I've had my breakdown, I'm okay now - stop looking at me like that".  

Mental illness is a problem.  People do struggle to understand it.  I think people are just relieved I'm back though.

Sunday Stealing on a Tuesday

From FYeahSurveys

Blogging Meme 

What kind of blog do you have?   I have this blog, but my more full-time, full -on, every day blog, is my Blip.  I take a photo a day, and then I write.  I sometimes write about the photo, but sometimes, it is just a mishmash of my brain.  People seem to like my mishmash more than my artistic thoughts. 

How many posts do you have?   On this one, too many to think about.  No I like 934.  And that is spread over 8 years.   On my Blip, I have 1647 Entries.  That is one a day since 26th February 2010. 

How many blogs do you follow?   I follow a select few on Blip - you find that you become embroiled in their lives, and if you follow too many there are too many things to remember. 

How many followers do you have?   On Blip I have 248 Subscribers

How often do you change your theme?   Over here, I change maybe once a year.   Over there, it is bog standard format.  The only thing that differs is maybe my profile pic. 

How often do you change your icon?   Not a lot ... I like to keep with DOGWITHNOBRAIN. 

 Do you have any favorite blogs?   I have many

Do you ever send anonymous messages to other people?   No; in the words of Thumper, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. 

Do you ever get anon hate?   Nope. I'm pretty dang inoffensive, although yesterday I was offensive about something on someone else's post (The BBC nonetheless), and instantly I felt awful about it, and deleted it, but too late, I had already generated hate. 

Have you made any friends through your blog?  Yes I have. many, many, many.  All lunatics I have to add.

What’s your favorite thing about blogging?   Releasing the pressure from my BRAIN. 

What’s your least favorite thing about blogging?  Releasing the pressure from my BRAIN. 

Yesterday's Sunday Stealing, Today, on Monday, Afternoon, Which is morning for some of you :-)

From FYeahSurveys

  Favorite Fictional ? 

1. Favorite fictional couple?     Detective Inspector Angelique de Xavia  and Zal Innez from The Sacred Art of Stealing, by Christopher Brookmyre

2. Favorite fictional character?   Eddie Cahill - or the other one from CSI Miami - who is sporting a rather schexy beardy face now 

3. Favorite fictional TV show?   Oh, I have a lot.  I like, Falling Skies, I like 24, I like Dead Like Me, I like things that scare me a little bit, but make me wonder a little bit too.

 4. Favorite fictional movie?   Hearts and Souls.  RDJ... WOW

 5. Favorite fictional villain?    Tom Hardie as Bane 

 6. Favorite fictional hero?   The Highlander... There can be only one.

 7. Favorite fictional pet?   Snoopy

 8. Favorite fictional setting/universe?   1744 Scotland with standing stones which make you travel through time. 

 9. Least favorite fictional couple?   Those Simpson ones. 

 10. Least favorite fictional character?   Black Jack Randall - See 8.

 11. Least favorite fictional TV show?   Soaps.



I 'm not doing any more leasts.  Least said soonest mended :-) 

I only LIKE things. 

Sunday Stealing, from Two Weeks Ago, on A Monday a week Ahead .:-)

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. 

From "A Place Of My Own" by L'Empress

 Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you?  no, no, no, no yes, probably

 Would you ever consider becoming a teacher?  I was a teacher.  I did the qualifications and Everything.  I have letters after my name.

 Would you ever give a hitch-hiker a ride somewhere?  I did once.  And that was the BIGGEST mistake I have ever made.

 Would you ever try fasting for a whole week?  Probably have.  I've tried every mad diet under the sun.

 Would you ever try to quit one of your addictions?  Yes, Am making good progress on the Nails.

 Would you ever dye your hair purple?  Of course.

 Would you ever spend $100 for the best tasting hamburger in the world?  Erm, probably yes. Although I would want to ensure that it really, really, really was the best tasting hamburger in the world before I parted with my money.

 Would you rather chew gum off the ground or kill a squirrel?  Chew gum off the ground.  Squirrels can be killed by gum on the ground

 Would you rather play Monopoly or Operation?  Monopoly

 Would you rather eat chocolate or fruity candies?  Chocolate

 Would you rather listen to one CD forever or become deaf?   One CD Forever... I have thrown CDs out of the car before rather than listen to them once more.

 Would you rather be deaf or blind?  I wouldn't want to be either.  That is an AWFUL question

 Would you rather text or talk on the phone?   Talk on the phone.  (Or Text depending on whether I want evidence or not)

 Would you rather spend a day with Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus?  Really?  Really?   That's my option?

 Would you rather learn to play piano or guitar?  Guitar. no I can play guitar, I would like to learn piano.

 Would you rather have a stomach-ache or headache?  headache. I get them monthly. Not as in "monthlies", but I have a regular migraine addiction.   I'm used to them. Stomach Aches - pain me.

 Would you rather be overly interesting or overly dull?  Overly dull.  people wouldn't notice me and I could sit in a corner and people watch.

 Would you rather be too loud or too quiet?  To quiet, see the one above. 

Sunday Stealing..... On a Sunday. Perfecting the Art of Timeous Reporting

August 9, 2014

13 Things

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim's meme. (It's our way of saying "Thanks!") Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme. 
Let's go!!!

From Pinterest

1. Outside my window… A mixture of green growing things, and buildings.   I stay in a little housing estate and mostly everyone keeps green gardens, and trees.  

 2. I am thankful…   That I have a loving husband, and two children who are the light of my life.

 

3. In the kitchen… I rely a lot on my husband. Who, in a previous incarnation was a chef in the Royal Navy.

 4. I am wearing… Black, because it is slimming. (that is a massive lie, I am as big as I was in white)

 5. I am creating… A humungous blanket for my baby to take back to Edinburgh with her.  To give her a hug when I'm not around

 6. I am going… To get up in a minute, vacuum, wash the dishes, and make a start on prepping dinner.

 7. I am reading… Missing by Jodi Picoult.

 8. I am learning…  to play the guitar again. I used to play classical when I was younger, but I haven't practise in tens of years... Boy left his here, so I will pull it from it's bag and give it an airing.

 9. I am pondering… Whether or not it would be really evil to go back to bed for another nap?

 

10. A favorite quote… "And I, I took the road less travelled by".

 11. One of my favorite things… My husband.  I'm pretty dang fond of him.

 12. A few plans for the rest of the week…  Tooli is going to Edinburgh.  I am going to work, Si is going to work.  I shall be worrying over Boy who is moving apartment, town, and doing all kinds of exciting things.

 13. A peek into my day…I slept late (after 12), got up, drunk coffee, forgot that I had promised my daughter lunch, drove quickly into the town to get her lunch.  Dropped it off.  Stopped to take a few photos.   Came home and did this.

Smiley Happy People...

Oh dear, 

First day back at work after a week's  holiday.   Bleugh.  And Month End to boot. 

That's two holiday's we have had where we haven't actually "holiday'd". 

In April/May it was Boy's Graduation, and we drove a distance equivalent from Land's End to John o Groats and Back.  In a foreign land! 

This time, it was a kind of guddle. 

Toolibelle's birthday.  First Visit to the flat.  Migraines, Hangovers. Shopping, Cleaning. 

Fingers Crossed we are going to get a REAL holiday in October time :-) 

Me and Him, and Sunshine. 

Sunday Stealing.... On a Really Wet Sunday

From the now-defunct: Friday Feast  and forwarded on from Sunday Stealing

You have been awarded the time off from work and an all-expenses paid week anywhere in the United States. The catch is that it must be somewhere you have not been before. Where do you choose to visit?  I would visit....New England.  Like the Barry Manilow Song, and drive everyone crazy singing "Time in New England...
Name your guilty pleasures.   I think I just gave it away

The best kind of milkshake is: The ones in Andy's in Mount Olive.  Because they are the ones my Boy drinks.

What do you value most in other people?  Honesty
Be honest. Do you sneak some raw cookie dough when you’re baking cookies?  Yup. Raw any kind of raw cooking, (except meat and eggs of course :-))

Have you ever looked back at your life and realized that something you thought was a bad thing was actually a blessing in disguise?  I think that every bad thing that happens, is a gateway to something better and more exciting.  It's a door which closes and then another new and exciting direction. Always. 
What is the most beautiful place you have ever visited?  Everywhere is pretty beautiful... I could say with the exception of.... but then people live there and that would be offensive to them, but honestly, if you want to know email me...

Are you more of a thinker or a feeler?  I am a thinker, who feels a lot.

Name three things you are thankful for right now.  Himself, Boy and Tooli.  always.

Have you ever participated in a three-legged race?  Yes, it was a standard "sport" at school.  I annually participated in the falling over race.

When you are at an event that plays the National Anthem, do you place your hand over your heart?  I do... for both my National Anthem, and yours.  (I'm British, and I love America)

Have you ever been on the wrong side of the law?  Yes, once I offered a police man a quicky in the back of the car for a lift home.  He told me if I offered again he would arrest me for soliciting.  And then there was this other time...
When was the last time you unintentionally surprised someone else?  When we were driving home on Thursday I grabbed my husband's chest.  that always surprises him.

When was the last time you deliberately surprised someone else?   Two seconds later, when I grabbed him again. :-)

What was the last really funny movie you watched?   I watched R I P D last night.  It was funny, but maybe not REALLY funny.  Hmm.... What else...I'm looking forward to Sharknado   It sounds amazingly funny.

Sunday Stealing.....

From: Quizopolis and transferred to Sunday Stealing

Favorite summer flower: Hmmm, I have Poppies right now which I love, but nothing beats the smell and colour of Sweetpeas

Flavor of ice cream:  Scottish Vanilla with Tablet

 of transportation:  Bike Bella Bella Specifically

Music:  Happy music

Food:  tasty food. 

Favorite game to play:  Hide and Seek. I have recently recruited D at work to play with me.   I like to seek.  I laugh too much when I am hiding.
Earliest childhood summer memory:   Being all lumpy with heat stroke, covered in calamine lotion, laying on a white cotton sheet in a shaded bedroom 

Favorite Drink:  Raspberry Cosmopolitan

Favorite Snack:  Salt and Sweet Popcorn

Place to read:  Cuddled in a chair.






Most annoying:  Being angry

How I handle the heat:   Open all the windows wear as little as I can.

Pet Peeve: Being angry
All-time favorite bathing suit:  One with a little skirt on it, to hide my bumps

Best Time of Day:   Any time of day, being alive is a privilege. 

Most romantic:  Bed time.

Summer movie:  Fifty First Dates

You're Such a Big Star to Me....

There is no situation that cannot be made better by beautiful lighting.

My favourite thing in the whole world is to sit in my garden, on a warm summer's night (Yes, I know this is Scotland, and those are few and far between, but that is exactly why they are so special), surrounded by the glow of garden lights, and lanterns, and lamps.  

There is such an array of lamps and lighting available now, it is impossible not to find something to suit your taste and which fits your purse. 

Buildings too - the addition of lighting on the outside of your house makes it stand out, and adds such character.  Something as simple as down lighting on your porch, or under your window frames... add a dimension to your home which makes it stand out in a neighbourhood of sameness. 

I can't understand why everyone else keeps garden lighting til Christmas time. Take the plunge light up your garden and house all year round.  Make it a magical sparkling place. 

See the lighting expert for more hints and tips 

Sunday Stealing

From: Cool Free Surveys

One Thing ..... 


that makes you smile:    Love

that makes you cry:    Love

that you love to do on the weekends:   Love

that you do for only yourself:   sing

that you have in your underwear drawer that's NOT underwear:   Baby Hat

that you do before going to sleep:   Kiss my other half


that you do within the first 15 minutes after waking:   Kiss my other half


that's in your purse:  cash card




that you actually LIKE to clean:  Bathroom sink   


that you DETEST cleaning:   Toilet


that other people would find odd about you:   Inability to shut up


that you would buy if I handed you a $100 bill:   Lunch for me and my other half

that you feel you HAVE to do before you die:  Sail a kayak on the west coast of Scotland.

Sunday Stealing....

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. 

From Survey Haven:

61. Do you like current pop stars?    Hmmm, I like Ed Sheeran. I like Paolo Nutini, I like,Some Katy Perry, I like Christina Perri, I like the ones who sing something about their American Apparel Underwear….  I like all sorts of music, but when I hear something that I don’t like,I really don’t  like it.

62. What is your least favorite chore?   Any chore. I am truly a lazy bitch. I have a need to do chores, but I have to work myself up to do them, I hate having a dirty house, so I do it, through necessity, not through enjoyment.

63. Last place you drove your car?   I drove yesterday, to work and back.  Today, I cycled.

 64. Ever been out of the country?   Yah, I was in America in May; I was in Engerland last year, I have been in France, Greece,  Spain, erm  oh Iceland and Canada.

 65. Where were you the last time you used a public bathroom?   Does my work count?    Work is a public toilet.  Although, last time for a real public toilet,was in the supermarket last week.  I was bursting.

 66. Could you handle being in the military?     No. I am a pathetic woose, I’ m not brave, and I am in awe of those who enlist.

 67. What is your average cell phone bill?   £30 sterling, or 45 dollars.

 68. Who or what are you thinking about right now?   I am thinking could quite happily throw a brick through the tv. I hate question time.

 69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?   Today.   My friend at work suffered a bereavement last week,and I was trying to make her smile. I succeeded. And we both laughed out loud.

 70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?  About three

 71. Are your toes always painted?   Nope, But they have anchors on them just now.

 72. How many piercings do you have?   One and a half. My ears…. And one ofthem is half shut.

 73. What are you doing today?  I cycled 4.5 miles to work, worked, and then cycled home again,, then I crocheted, and then I watched T

 74. Have you ever been gambling?   I have been in a casino, but I concentrated on drinking not gambling.

 75. When is the last time you updated your blog?    A Sunday a week ago.  Typically I update this blog weekly, with Sunday Stealing, with the occasional comment in between.  But I have another blog which I keep updated on a daily basis.

 76. Do you like roller coasters?   Nope.  If I dare. I have to watch at least a random 8 people get on and get off again. If each one of the testers, come off smiling, I will endeavour to give it a go.  Butprobably not.

 77. Have you ever been to Disneyland or world?   Yah,  In Florida,twice. J

 78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?   snoopy

 79. Last thing you cooked?   Hmmmm……Scones, which turned out really badly.

 80. How's the weather?   It is warm, but threatening dampness.

 81. Do you e-mail more than snail mail?   Yes indeedy, but I do like to post the card and noteletts

 82. What's the funniest picture you ever took with your cell phone?   Oh too many to even think

83. Last time you were sick?   I had a migraine yesterday. I felt really sick, but didn’t barf. The lasttime I really was sick, was on the bloody ferry from Troon to Cairnryan.

 84. What states have you lived in?   None.  I live in Counties.  Ayrshire, Renfrew, Lothian, and the Kingdom of Fife.

 85. Do you wish you could move?   Only if it was to a vine yard in France, with an attached caravan park.

 86. Do you take a lot of quizzes?   I take this one all the time.

 87. What is your dream car?   A blue one.

 88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?   Nope.  I have who I want.

 89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?   France…. In a tent, with a campfire.

 90. Are you happy with your life?   Delighted, and grateful.

 68. Who or what are you thinking about right now?   I am thinking could quite happily throw a brick through the tv. I hate question time.

 69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?   Today.   My friend at work suffered a bereavement last week,and I was trying to make her smile. I succeeded. And we both laughed out loud.

 70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?  About three

 71. Are your toes always painted?   Nope, But they have anchors on them just now.

 72. How many piercings do you have?   One and a half. My ears…. And one ofthem is half shut.

 73. What are you doing today?   I cycled 4.5 miles to work, worked, and then cycled home again,, then I crocheted, and then I watched TV.

 74. Have you ever been gambling?   I have been in a casino, but I concentrated on drinking not gambling.

 75. When is the last time you updated your blog?    A Sunday a week ago.  Typically I update this blog weekly, with Sunday Stealing, with the occasional comment in between.  I have another blog which I keep updated on a daily basis.

 76. Do you like roller coasters?   Nope.  If I dare. I have to watch at least a random 8 people get on and get off again. If each one of the testers, come off smiling, I will endeavour to give it a go.  Butprobably not.

 77. Have you ever been to Disneyland or world?   Yah,  In Florida,twice. J

 78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?   snoopy

 79. Last thing you cooked?   Hmmmm……Scones, which turned out really badly.

 80. How's the weather?   It is warm, but threatening dampness.

 81. Do you e-mail more than snail mail?   Yes indeedy, but I do like to post the card and noteletts

 82. What's the funniest picture you ever took with your cell phone?   Oh too many to even think

83. Last time you were sick?   I had a migraine yesterday. I felt really sick, but didn’t barf. The lasttime I really was sick, was on the bloody ferry from Troon to Cairnryan.

 84. What states have you lived in?   None.  I live in Counties.  Ayrshire, Renfrew, Lothian, and the Kingdom of Fife.

 85. Do you wish you could move?   Only if it was to a vine yard in France, with an attached caravan park.

 86. Do you take a lot of quizzes?   I take this one all the time.

 87. What is your dream car?   A blue one.

 88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?   Nope.  I have who I want.

 89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?   France…. In a tent, with a campfire.

 90. Are you happy with your life?   Delighted, and grateful.