Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain

Am sitting here in the dark and the warmth of the house, listening to the rain and the wind howl outside. 

Beloved is away to Scouts, and Tooli is away up to Glasgow to see a film.   I'm doing house work, (or at least I like to pretend to myself that I am). 

The weather forecast contains a warning of "persistant rain" which may fall up to 2 inches during the spell.  I think that has already fallen - the road up to the traffic lights was flowing with water, and that was uphill!

It's 29th October. Only a couple of days until I start writing!  50,000 words in a month..... Will I get there?   

I'm gonna Go Out, and Get Myself, Absolutely Pouring Wet......

I have a duvet day today.  

You have no idea how much this means to me!  I woke at 6, went for a pee, and then came back to bed. 

My beloved brought me a cup of coffee, which I drank over the course of 4 hours

 

I fell asleep again, and had the BEST Biffy Clyro dream EVER. 

Now I'm sitting here, contemplating shower, and then a wee walk round to say hello to my cousin before she takes off the sunny Isle of Man again. 

Listen with your Eyes, Listen with your Eyes

Is that right?

Listen with your Eyes?  I seem to remember singing that at ballet when I was 3.

So, countdown until 50,000 in a month.  I think I have a plan now!.  I do!

Everybody's Doing a Brand New Dance Now

Except me!  I'm knackered. 

It was a birthday for my beloved yesterday and he wasn't impressed.  We decided to let it go, with the exception of Lunch.  We don't go out much, or do anything much anymore so we thought that would be a bit of a present in itself. 

Lunch commenced at 115pm.  Lovely. Lido.  Mussels, Garlic Bread, Calamaris, Soupy Loupy, Thai Chicken, Thai Pancakes, Fish and Chips, Ice Cream, Ice Cream Sundae, Macaroons, and Delux Hot Chocolate.  And Cocktails, and Wine, and Beer, and More Cocktails, and MOre Beer. 

Gran took Toolibell home before Mum and Dad started embarassing themselves.  She had volleyball and had some homework too. She is so diligent, I have NO idea where we got her. 


Cocktails were lovely. I had Rasberry Ripple, JellyBelly, and then moved to my favourite, Cosmopolitan.   We discussed everyone with in sight, and sniggered at our memories of how we ran bars.   We talked over our dream of a caravan park in France and wondered, maybe.....


We decided about 7 we better start to head.  And made it as far as Dan McKay's.  I was freezing. It had actually been sleeting while we were in Lido.  Although it wasn't sleeting any more, it was still bitter.  


Dan McKay's satisfied me with a Jack Daniels and Coke, and then Si and I decided that a trip to Morrison was called for!  Mmm. Quite how we managed to get round the shop and out in one piece is beyond me. I'm not even that sure what we bought!  Tee Hee. 


Still we got home.  I drunk about 5 cups of coffee, went to bed, got up at 12, drunk some water, got up at 3 had a painkiller and more water.  Got up at 5 had more water, then got up at 8 and headed in to work, by which Time I wasn't really too bad. 


All in all, it was a lovely day.  And It would have been nice if Boy had been there too - but we got a big chat with him on the Skype Web Cam which was grand.  He was most impressed to see his mam and da pished as farts smiling down the camera to him!

 
 

Sunday Stealing, Up with the Lark...

Do you like someone?  I like most people.

The last song you listened to?   Toolibelle singing "bad romance".  Or was it me?

What time of day were you born?   Evening.  7ish.

What’s your favorite number?   6, or 4,  or 8,  or 2,  or 10. (all in that order)

Where did you live in 1987?   Hmm, Edinburgh, the Troon, then Glasgow.

Are you jealous of anyone?   Nope.

Is anyone jealous of you?   Probably.

Where were you when 9/11 happened?  Sitting on the Couch, which was where the TV is now.  Off work with depression. Went back to work the next day, never had another day of depressed again.

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?  Kick it really hard. And then complain loudly.

Do you consider yourself kind?  Too kind probably.

If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?  RSF on my wrist

If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?  Latin

Would you move for the person you loved?  Absolutely. To the end of the earth

Are you touchy feely?  Yes

What’s your life motto?  Live, Laugh and Love - always like no one is watching!

Name three things that you have on you at all times?  iPhone, Knickers, Pink Swiss Card

What’s your favourite town/city?   Edinburgh

What was the last thing you paid for with cash?  New Shoes for Si today.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper  mailed it?   Last week, to my boy.

Can you change the oil on a car?  ha ha ha ha Nope.

Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?    I'm married to him.

How far back do you know about your ancestry?    1720

The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

As in Fancy Dress  - My Son's Girlfriend, as she would look in 30 years time.   Or dressed fancy:  For a wedding.

Does anything hurt on your body right now?  My Hips?  I've got slight Arthritis, and the wet makes it ache.

Have you been burned by love?   Burned by infatuation. Never knew love like this before.

Aw, Come on, these Feelings

It's been a while since I just wrote.   I had a funny experience today.  A good one, but a strange one, and I know there are stranger things in heaven and earth. 

You know sometimes you have a craving for something, and eventually you get to fulfil that craving.  Well today I did that.  And the outcome was far better than I ever expected.  Far, Far better. 

Such a Feeling's Coming over me!

I love my blip I do, but sometimes there is more to be said.  I felt a bit guilty about part of it, but it was all true. 

Everyone seems to have loved it. I'm never sure what is going to go down well on Blip.  The weirdest photo can attract the fewest comments and views, the simplest one.... and there was nothing spectacular about that one.... can attract loads.

I'm really enjoying the writing part of it though, and it is because of that, and because of chatting with other Blippers and Twitters, that I'm entering the NANOWRIMO Competition. Write a Novel in a Month!  What about that then!  I've got til the end of October to figure out what to write it about, any suggestions?

In Your Eyes

Am listening to my daughter, trying desperately to arrange a sleep over in Edinburgh....

I feel at 16, her and her friends are old enough and sensible enough to be trusted to go over to the other side of the country and enjoy themselves!

Other parents don't have the same opinion.  I feel desperately for her.  They so want to go.  

Do I give my children too much freedom?  

Sunday Stealing..... It's A Climb.....

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?  Shit, but I look like Jennifer Anniston.

2. How much cash do you have on you?     Nothing.  I put everything I had in the "jar".

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?  Floor! Doh!

4. Favorite planet?  Venus.  It's blue. I like Blue

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?   Si, my husband, He phoned me four times, and I missed every single on of them!

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?   Adam Sandler, Grow Old With you...

7. What shirt are you wearing?   A rather Attractive sleeveless number from Sainsbury which I bought for £3.00 in a sale.

8. Do you label yourself?  With Stickies?   With Post it Notes? 

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?    Asics, cause I am dead fit.

10. Bright or Dark Room?   Right now, it is REALLY bright, but I like dark.

11. Did you do anything to celebrate John Lennon's 70th yesterday?  No I did not. I hated the Beatles.  The most over-rated piece of piss in the world.  Sorry Beatles Fans.

12. What does your watch look like?  Hmm, It's a Rolex. So it is a bit Bling

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?   I was sleeping.  I am a sleepy Burger.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?  "Just Walking to the House", from my daughter, wondering where she be!

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?    About 200 yards away round a couple of corners.  we call them "SPAR" here.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? Bugger Bollocks.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?  My Honey.

18. Last furry thing you touched?   My Pussy - Beau.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?  Quite a lot!  Co-Codamol, Diazepam, Dicolfluzac, and.... HRT.  - That really wasn't what you were asking was it?

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?  None.  does anyone have rolls of film any more.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? Someone asked me this already today!  38.  That is my best age. Infact., no I change it. 28.  No , 34.  because I love both my kids, and when I was 34 I had them both.  I also like 42.  Because that is a GOOD number.

22. Your worst enemy?   Hmmmmmm.  The husband's ex.

23. What is your current desktop picture (extra points if you post it.)?   Is a beautiful picture of my Husband flying a kite today - I just changed it specially for you.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?    Who?  Who Is It?  (My husband's phone rang.  I'm the only person who phones him, so I was confused.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?  Oh Flying easy!  Cause if I could fly, I could fly away from the bank when I rob it!  Simples.

Up thru the Atmosphere....

today was too beautiful a day to stay indoors. 

Today was a day for the beach and the kite. 

Today was a day for being alive!

Sunday Stealing..... 19 September

http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/ 

1. At what time of your life were you happiest and why?

Am pretty damn happy right now!  Daughter is doing grand at school and in sport.  Husband is employed, enjoying Scouts and still kisses me every day.  Boy is In USA becoming an American Boy.
2. Where and when did you meet the love of your life?

Pebbles night club, in Troon 23rd August 1986.
 

3. Favourite item of clothing ever or most treasured possession?

A 1940 vintage swing coat I bought from Ebay for £20.00.  Cashmere and lambswool, black.  The most luxurious glorious thing I own. 

4. Must-have makeup or beauty item?

Facecream for dry skin
5. What do you think is your worst vice or fault .. honestly?

Spending money.

6. Would you tell your friend, if you knew her husband/wife was cheating on her/him?

Yes.  

7. What ambitions, wishes or desires, for your life, do you still hold close to your heart?

To have enough money to make sure my son stays at college in USA and ensure my daughter goes to the University of her choice. 

8. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

Still forking out for my kids education!
9. If you had the choice of any talent with the penalty that you would lose a talent in exchange, what would you want to gain, and what would you be willing to loose?

I would love to be able to play the piano loosing the ability to eat as much as I can without feeling sick!

10. Name three things that you do want completed in your life before retiring?

I want to travel to America to see my son graduate.   

I want to Sit in the Posh seats at Oxford and see my daugher become a doctor. 

I want to sit on a white sandy beach with my husband and raise a glass to 50 years together.  

11. Of all of the people out there who would have been your fantasy date? Date, not romance...

Christofer Lambert!

12. Google put another spell on you, you have just changed genders for 48 hours... what are you going to do with your 2 days?

Going to show my son and Husband how not to shake their bits dry without splashing the wall.  Going to use monkey bars, (cause I hope my upper body strength would have improved).  Going to laugh raucously at a bar, while drinking pints,and not have people glare at me! (People don't like loud women in bars, drinking pints).

13. If you owned your own island, and got to make it your own country, what would you call it? And why?

Ourland  Because it would be.
14. If you rubbed the lamp and got 3 wishes, what would they be?

1. To be slim and healthy.

2. To be wealthy.

3. To always be happy.
15. What is your earliest memory of puberty?

The horror of hiding bloody pants!

16. If you got banished to your Island alone and could only bring 5 things, what would they be.

Crosstitch, by Diana Gabaldon

Babywipes

Face Cream

Notepad

Pencil.

Every day, Every Hour We Share...

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?

This wee soul is getting buried today.  His name is Ashley and he died of Neuroblastoma.  Not enough is done in this country to research and look for treatment or cure.  I hate this about this day. 

What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?

24 years?  1986 til now.... 2010.  Yup. One person.  That is more than half my life.   He has me all.

What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?  Picked up my Iphone to see if My Boy had added any updates during my sleep time!

Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?

Yes, see number 2 above.  Loves me unconditionally, which is quite a difficult thing to do.

Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
 

Compared to most days I look quite presentable. Yesterday for example I almost drowned walking round to work!  Hair was everywhere.  Due to the weather I've given up even trying to do something spectacular with my hair.

Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it? Yes.  My dad kept telling us that he was better off dead to us, then he died, and we realised just how poorly off we were without him.

Assured My Love Is Strong

When boy left, he said "first two weeks will be like holiday, second two weeks, i'll be getting involved in school, and using my brain, fifth week, then I'll start to realise I'm not coming home".

It is the fifth week now, and I don't know about him, but I'm starting to realise that he isn't coming home.  I miss my boy hugs!  One thing that boy could do was hug his mum.  I envy anyone near him in the US when he is in the mood for hugs!

I look at new photos daily, and I see my boy growing stronger, and browner, and more happy by the minute.  It was definitely the right thing for him to do.

But my friend Helen was right.  There is such a thing as empty nest syndrom.  Am so glad I have Toolibelle to squeeze tight still.  She aint going no where, not at least for 2 years.

Red Roses Too, I see them Bloom, for me and You

Scotland has at least 4 seasons in every day.

I set out this morning, buffeted by the gale, and waiting a downpour as the sky was as black as it could be.

As I reached the station, I turned and caught the sunrise. It was amazing.  It just got better and better and better.

Now I'm safely tucked in the office, the wind is howling outside, and every 40 minutes or so there is a downpour to wash away any remaining cobwebs.

I expect the sun to be shining within the next 20 minutes.   Maybe a little hail later.

A Million Faces Pass Me By

Boy has been gone for 19 sleeps and life in the Cruse Household has settled into a nice holding pattern.

Tooli runs about like a demented teen - from Hockey, to Volleyball, to the Bedroom to study.  When the phone rings, we leave it, it's going to be for her.  Si and I bimble out to work, bimble back in, drive Tooli where she needs to go, and keep one eye on Skype at all times.

When we see his name blink up on the screen, either one of us are there in a flash.  It doesn't need to be long, just a quick "Hiya" "How you doing?", and he can go again - back to chatting with his old friends, or playing around with his new ones.

He's found his place in this world.  I think my boy was born to be an All-American College Kid.  He's fitting right in there.  Country and Western Concert at the weekend, driving trucks and abusing folk who chew tobacco.   He's made some great new friends and the photosgraphs look amazing.  He looks so comfortable and at home with these shiney new folk - I'm not worried at all.

The Hurricane, however is another matter.

Everybody's high on consolation

But I'm fine!

I knnew that once he was away, everything would settle.  What I wasn't ready for was the loss felt by his dad!  He is visibly missing his boy more than I realised he would.  The delight in his face when he was able to speak and see him on Monday night on Skype was amazing, and that made me sniff just a little bit more than anything else.

His wee sister too is missing him something awful.  They might have fought while they were together, but i think it was just their way of showing their love!

Am I too hard? 

The Sum of All Fears

Boy is becoming hyper with excitement.

I am becoming hyper with panic.

Beloved is retreating into himself.

Tooli is coming into her own.

I wish I could breathe easily.

After Friday, I'm sure I'll be fine.

When you find that you're always waiting

The train journey to work is always an interesting one.  I have three carriages to choose from, and each of those carriages is broken in to two.

I recognise daily the regulars who get on my train, and they all have their particular egress and exit points.  I like to throw a bit of a spanner in the work, by changing doors occassionally.

People always sit firstly in a section by themselves, secondly in a section opposite, with one other person, and only if pushed, in a section beside someone.  

I took my crochet today, and focussed on that.  People tend to watch the crochet and not me, so I can look at them.  This morning, a wee chap who I knew was focussed on me, was sitting across the aisle from me, when I glanced over, it wasn't my crochet he was watching, but me. I just smiled and he went all agitated and itchy.  People are discomforted when you catch them watching you. 

People are actually discomforted when you speak directly to them, and they don't know you.  I'm constantly speaking to people I don't know because I feel there is a statement to be made.  "bloody noise", "bloody kids", "gorgeous weather", "beautiful baby".  Nothing more than that. One thing I have noticed, elderly people, as soon as I start speaking look terrified and horrified, when they realise that I'm passing the time of day, and not screaming at them, or slandering them in any way, the appreciate and joy that comes over their face is a joy. 

Try talking to people you don't know.  It'll make them happy.

FOURTEEN DAYS AND COUNTING

I think everything bar the packing is done.

It's very strange getting used to thinking about life without Boy.

Everything about him is larger than life, the height, the voice, his actions.  He is possibly the loudest person I know, but also the most loving.

It's going to be very quiet for a while once he is gone.

It's Just the Way it is...

A mark of how life is moving on.

Boy is heading off to America in less than 3 weeks.   My baby boy.

One side of my heart is so proud of him, envious even, of the opportunity that he is getting.  A new country, new people, new friends, training, travel,learning; it is mind exploding. 

The other side of my heart is sad.  It isn't broken, I just know that this is the point we, my husband and I have worked towards.   Making a human being so confident in himself, that he is able to take this step, and move away, so very, very far away and start out on his own.  I'm proud that we achieved what we promised ourselves as we felt Betsy Bump move.  A friend, a son to be proud of, and a confident adult who we know won't let us down.

How he will fare is anyone's guess.  He will be playing his sport, Volleyball which he loves, and getting the chance to travel length and breath of North America's to do so.  He will be studying English.  I hope that I can encourage him to blog, because I know that his learning and travels along side his humour will make for the best reading.

I'm not blogging as much these days, because I'm blipping.    But I will try.

Someone else might find the experience useful.