You better not stop them 'cause they're coming through

Neither Justified, nor ancient. I had a very bad hangover this morning. I can't even remember coming to my bed. I had one small bottle of Cider, Sweet, Organic, and very lovely, and 2/3 of a bottle of port. I think that is what did it!

I woke up and thought, I'm going to pass out, so I stumbled downstairs grabbed a couple of painkillers and crawled back to bed. I lay and groaned for a while, until I got Si up and downstairs to get me a cup of tea. Oh Thank God for that cup of tea. However just after drinking tea, the painkillers kicked in and I almost threw up. I had to snuggle back down and drift off for a while.

When I re-awoke, I felt brilliant. Si made me boiled eggs and soldiers and another cuppa. I was able to bounce out of bed and showered and got ready to do my weekly shop.

This feeling was not to last long. About 3/4 of the way round Tesco, I started to wilt, badly. A couple of times I had to stand in the freezer aisle for the chill factor. I managed to complete the shop and get out to the car.

Next on the stop was Morrison. (I buy fresh fruit from there not Tesco - too many people holding it in Tesco). I stumbled round there, and stumbled out to the car. I did consider car wash and tyres, but realised that I was collapsing under the strain of being upright. So i started back to the house.

Unfortunately I didn't make it back to the house before I vomited. I didn't make it to the next available parking space. I did, however, grab a carried bag, for there were many, and hold it to my face in the hope it would catch it all. Projectile vomiting does not take kindly to obstruction and it bounced back all over my face. That in itself was enough to spark the next retch. Jeesus, did I retch. It covered the handbrake, gearstick, the left hand side of my entire wardrobe for the day. It took all my willpower not to start crying.

As I pulled into the drive, I shouted to Si to STAND BACK. He took one look at me, and tried to look sympathetic, but laughter took over. He hadn't realised I was "that bad". To be honest, neither had I!

I firmly believe that it was actually food poisoning.

My car despite my best efforts still smells of sick.

I am a disgusting heap.

Truely.


DWNB

Freezing Breath On a Window Pane

It is most defo Autumn. I love Autumn, although Shit Things happen in Autumn. Well they did. They don't now, because life is good.

My Dad died in Autumn, the anniversary is in 4 days, 3rd, October, and I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was a no- weather day, like today. Grey, overcast, not hot, not cold, but somewhere in between, stillness in the air, and no wind. There was an Autumn smell, and that, was there today.

I had a sore throat. When I was in Edinburgh I always had a sore throat!

I had been in for a lecture, and was bimbling home at lunchtime. I was waiting to hear that the Council would agree to fund me sitting Risk Management and Insurance, and whole two year course, for Little Ol Me on my ownsome. I met Willie, a bar man who worked in a Pub I used to frequent in the other side of Edinburgh before we moved to the heady heights of Sighthill. He bought me an ice lolly for my sore throat, and dropped me off at home. I'm not sure what I did between then, and late in the afternoon, probably slept, because then, like now, my favourite pastime was sleeping.

I got a call from the college to say that the meeting had gone in my favour, and I would be getting to sit a course all on my own for the last two years of my course! ha ha . Mega. As I would say. Boris (my flatmate Janice) and me had Sausage casserole for tea, (- maybe that's what I was doing), and then we made our other flatmate Steve beg us to let him watch Startrek. We were REALLY cruel to him.

I picked the phone up to phone home and tell them my good news, and first sign that things weren't right. My Nant picked up the phone. I asked why she was answering the phone, and she said, "it's okay, don't panic, Jacqui and John are on their way over". My mind was racing, I knew something was wrong.

Then mum came on the phone and said, "helen, it's okay, but Dad had a heart attack today." In my mind she was telling me he was okay, and in hospital, but then she said "he died", and I slid down the wall, listening her to tell me to stay where I was, Jacqui was on her way to get me.

I gave the phone to Janice who listened to my mum for a minute and then hung up, I walked into my room, and put on my Tape recorder, and then slammed it off, thinking " I don't want to hear a song to remind me", but I heard it, only a couple of bars, and to this day "Wire", by U2" always takes me back to that day.

Janice and me sat on my bed contemplating how good life had been in the last couple of weeks. Jannie had come home with me, and her and dad had spent time sneaking out the back for a quick fag every hour or so - they had got on so well together. We had all been at a wedding - jees My pal was still on her honeymoon.

We moved thru to Jannie's room and watched out the window for Jacqui and John.

I think it is most definitely the singularly saddest time of my life.

Mum, Me and Jacqui are all going on on Wednesday for a drink to remember Dad!

22 years, and it still seems like yesterday.

The Friday 5

What is your favorite (toy) stuffed animal? Mmmmm Difficult. There are so many. Eeyore which Eilidh gave me for my Birthday, Piglet which Eilidh gave me for my birthday, Eeyore which I got at Disney, the Huskies we won at the Fair. Hundred.
What do you think of stuffed animals as gifts? I love them, cute cuddly, make you go aw.What do you do with a stuffed animal you don’t want? I never not want a stuffed animal, unless it is really ugly or a frog or cheap, in which case I "loose" it.
What are your thoughts on the whole Beanie Babies craze of the nineties?
We have beanie babies. Some of them are REALLY cute. We have Special Bat, who is Gorgeous, also Polar Bear, Unicorn, aw. I love them all. Seriously. And the Beanie people.
How many stuffed animals do you own?
No 1 Daughter has wardrobe top covered in Stuffeds, Bed full, and we have three bin bags
full of them upstairs in the attic! I have Eeyor, Piglet, Cow and Cat in the Car.

Down will Come Baby, Cradle...... Da Da

So there I am, tucked up in bed last night, almost asleep, and then it came.

K singing me to sleep down the phone. What joy. If there was a way to market it I would. I had to get up and go pee, it made me laugh so much. How can someone NOT know the words to Rock a Bye Baby? Not only that, but finish it with the words, "baby and Die" ?

Lovely. She is the bestest friend ever. You can rely on her to make you laugh when you least expect it. The UPS man, Del, wanted to know how often a year I get in to visit her. At last someone who thinks she is MADDER than me. .

DWNB

You can have a Cat, just as Long as it Barks!

Simon was definite last night. no Cat, Not now, not ever.

He doesn't want cat's peeing in the bedroom. Now don't get me wrong. We didn't have the cats sitting in the bedroom peeing all the time. Garp, bless her wee cotton socks did it when she was confused and sad. But Si, approaching his dotage has confused this in his mind with "ALL THE TIME". She did use the litter tray mostly all the time, but every so often the wee lamby would get confused walk up the stairs and pee in Eilidh's bedroom.

However, I think this is outweighed by all the love and affection both cats gave us, but kittens have to be a joint decision and whilst he is in denial of his own love for the kitkins I have to abstain from having a wee ball of fluff to love and cherish, and in the meantime smother the Rabbits with love and affection.

They like Cheese Tucs. I personally think these are better for them than Tea-Biscuits. Tea-Biscuits, however lovely they are, are I think, A tad dry for wee bunny mouths. Their favourite however, is madeira cake. They Lurve madeira cake. There is nothing quite as pleasing as coming home, stepping out the back door and have two little bundles of fluff run up to you and sit up for a biccy. How cute are those bunns!

Anyhows, I must get on, much work to do, despite the longing I have to bimble about outside in the sunshine and wind.

DWNB

Cause he thinks she melts when he touches her

So far today (started off writing FAT, freudian slip huh? ), I have had , 2 cups of Lemon and Maple, 2 cups of Coffee, and one cup of tea and 2 Foxes glacier mints. I await Andrea's arrival with a cup of soup.

I have decided that the problem definitely lies with Bread. What did I do on Saturday when I stopped fasting, Ate a flipping bagel! How sore was my butt? So now I have to devise my menu around lack of bread, and bread related things. I think perhaps Pasta is a problem too. So Pasta off the list. I'm hoping that I am okay with rice. Maybe is just carbs! I should have done the food introduction a bit more carefully eh?

Is pouring with rain, and the wind is howling thru the halyards. Sounds very wintery outside, but strangely enough I have the window open as it is very warm. Weird Weather.

DWNB

And I'll show you all the photographs

I'm in a melancholy mood today.

I watched a very very sad programme last night. Actually it wasn't sad, sometimes it was quite quite funny, but the tragedy of it all was that it was real. It was a true story and the horrible realisation of how awful life is for some people made me cry for almost 30 minutes after the programme finished.

I've just looked him up, and the actors who played them resembled very closely the real people which makes it even more heartbreaking. Why is this world so cruel to some people?

DWNB

Everyone Wants to be what they want them to be...

Easy...

No. Was up at 7.30 this morning to come in to work. A Certain someone booked a viewing appointment for 9 am, even tho, the office doesn't open until 10 on a Sunday... so here I sit. 9.05, and no sign of Mr and Mr Appointment.

Lovely L even phoned them and asked them to reschedule as Mr T is a dunderhead and got the time wrong, but they said they had "someplace else to be directly afterwards", humph. So here I sit, a the time sponsored by Accurist 9.09 and 30 seconds and STILL no Mr and Mrs Appointment.


It didn't take me 4 minutes to write the above, the clock on my pc is wrong, and I had to dial to check.

I stopped fasting yesterday, but don't feel so good for it. as soon as I started eating - yeah, normally I didn't increase food groups one at a time, I have pain in bum. So tomorrow I will go again.

Way hay - Mr and Mrs Appointment have turned up.

Ta Da

DWNB

Friday Five

Friday Five

When were you the coldest you’ve ever been?
When I got up in 1984, at 4 Oclock in the morning to queue for Simple Minds tickets, outside the PLayhouse in Edinburgh. We got there at 5, and queued til the doors open at 10. It was March, and it was freezing. Some buggar was selling watered down soup. Got my tickets and then went to my mate Alan's shop in Cockburn street to thaw out.

When were you the hottest you’ve ever been?
In Miami, 1986, looking for Amex office to report my bag stolen. Walked about 5 blocks in extreme heat and found a coke machine, just like the US films, got a ice cold Coke in a Bottle and drunk it like it was manna from heaven.

When were you the tiredest you’ve ever been?
About 8 weeks into working in Shenanigans in Glasgow when we had just opened. I did Office - banking and Cash -so I was there to open and answer phone, and there to cash in at night. I was leaving at 2, and getting back up at 6 to get up for 7.30. (I stayed an hour away by car). After 4 weeks of 7 days, I fell asleep doing wages. I went home and slept for 2 days solid.

When were you the most stressed you’ve ever been?
1988 when I crawled inside a continental quilt cover and got into my cupboard and cried for 2 hours, before facing the doctor and not having the strength to laugh when they said "are you pregnant?" Then spent the next few weeks crying at both episode of neighbours, hoping the tea time repeat would improve on the lunch time one. And Going out with Si with my head up his jumper, thinking people would be less likely to notice me. (That wasn't really stress was it? Just completely cracked?)

When were you the dirtiest you’ve ever been?
I can't actually remember a time when I was That Dirty. I'm not the tidiest person ever, but I tend not to get REALLY dirty. Just untidy. Sorry. - Oh I just remembered wet? Does wet count. One new year, we went to beach to look at storm and stood in it while the waves crashed over us. I was soaking. We just took clothes off beside washing machine and dripped.

If you wanna know if he loves you so

Shoup Shoup Song.

In honour of the fact I had a plate of soup last night, but strictly speaking (as in the dance), It doesn't count because it came out the other end about 10 minutes after it went in. Excellent!!

I felt so bloated after I ate it, but I think it was the salt wash which flushed it out. It was just so cold and wet and wintery yesterday I felt Soup was needed to make me feel warm and cosy. And it did do the trick.

Darling S is much better this morning. Was not roasting up last night - and seems to have slept thru the night.I woke on and off but was able to drop back off again quickly. Got up and did No One Son's paper round - he is on all over the weekend - so that gives him a break, and now I'm sitting with salt water wash and lemon drink almost ready for work...

Must dash, Hair to dry, bum to empty.

DWNB

Counting all the Ripples on the Sea

And there are a lot today. Is very blowy. The Flags outside are blowing very straight. And judging by the direction, I'd say it was a westerly wind....

i can't believe that the temperature has dropped again. On Tuesday it was bitterly wintery cold, yesterday was really really warm, and today has dropped back down again. My feet are freezing.

I am currently corresponding with John Lewis Partnership. One of our new boat owners is equipping the boat via their Gift List. So far they have lost the list, shredded the credit card details, (before taking payment), lost my phone number, forgot who was ordering the things... how difficult can it be. "here is a list, this is what I want, here are the credit card details", but no. It has been a struggle every step of the way. They are mad. Today's statement which was quite worrying was "does she want the stuff". I am hoping that was supposed to be "when does she want the stuff", but when I asked, ,"is it not on order". And she replied well, " it's a big list you know, Give me a call in a couple of days and I'll see how we are getting on? "

Good job the boat isn't finished eh?

DWNB

PS - Still not eating. Now over 60 hours of starvation, but strangely not hungry. Must have really needed it!

You said I must eat so many lemons

i have eaten about 10 lemons now I think. I can't remember, but am definitely fitter. (See the next lines in the song).

Yep, still detoxing. Have not ate anything since Monday 10pm. My body is a temple. Lemons and Maple Syrup are doing just great.

There was a point this morning I thought... I should eat something, I feel crap, but I didn't. I had a cup of juice, a breath of fresh air, made my decision and I felt better.

I'm totally jumping tonight, full of energy.... and jumped about all thru tap. I can't believe how awake I feel for not eating.

Made the right decision today, and my head doesn't ache any more. I'm happy doing what I do.

DWNB

Gets Switched to Overload.......and nobody

So I had to make a stop at the School this morning because I decided last night that Tool should give up her musical instrument because she stresses out too much over it. But this morning as she looked at it one last time, burst into tears. What is a mother to do?

I went and confronted Teacher. Which did not make me happy, but had to be done. She was also distraught. Can't believe that she is so scarey! Told me to take instrument back home, and tell Tool it should be played for enjoyment, which it should. Grabbed Tool in the playground and told her, and she looked confused and as sad as I did! Did I do the right thing? Who's to know? What I do know is, that she'll play it again for a while and then we will have the trauma again!

So now, I'm sitting in office, trying to reconcile, both accounts and my mind - have too much going on, and I'm still not eating. I haven't had anything now for 36 hours. Amazing eh? Not hungry, but feeling like crap, which I suppose you would when you haven't ate anything for that length of time.

To relieve the pressure (sorry si), I poked a pen top in my ear, which was joyous. I sat for quite a while just poking it in. Didn't break anything and didn't burst my eardrum this time which was quite good.

DWNB

She took me to a cafe I asked her if she would stay

It's been 24 hours since I last ate.

Not Hungry. Seriously not. Not feeling brilliant either, but that's to be expected.

Si is all snotty, I probably feel crap because he does, and also because I haven't eaten. I truely hope that this helps my bum.

Got an offer tonight......

DWNB

It's only half past twelve but I don't care

So, there you have it.

I have had nothing solid since 10 pm Last night. (two bourbon biscuits - you'd really think I'd have had something more exciting eh?).

So, 14 hours... and counting. Not hungry. Have to admit it. Was feeling a bit tragic earlier, but that has passed. Si is not well this morning. Really high temperature and a very sexy voice, so I'm thinking that my grotty feeling has more to do with waking up next to that, as opposed to reacting badly to detoxing.

It is So Cold today. officially Winter. It was actually frosty this morning. I can't believe it, the temperature has dropped about 10 degrees in a couple of days. I wish I'd put socks on.

DWNB

I've got another confession to make...........

I started Detox this morning.

Failed at first step. 2 Pints of salt water???? I think not.

Am I not supposed to be detoxing from the top down. Drink 2 pints of salt water, and it's all going to come up the other way, and I don't want to see what I'm detoxing.

Lemon and Maple Syrup tea is fine. I had a glass last night, and couldn't eat another thing all night. It must swell up in the stomach. Lets see how long I last.! Hopefully this will clear my system out, and Colonic Irrigation will NOT be the last best option.

dwnb

Before I fall any deeper. ......

Too much pink wine last night. Couldn't really fall any deeper than I am right now.

Decided to have a glass of wine with dinner. Boys arrived home about 5.30, after a good days climbing in Wales. Fed them, did a bit of the Ironing (sorry Nant, I didn't finish it all!), enough to get us all dressed this morning and then sat with my knitting and a glass or five of wine.

I lay in bed this morning til 805 and then got up and flew like a looney to get ready. So here I sit, hair all askew, nose running and feeling generally poopy. I'm starting detoxing tomorrow hopefully to find out what exactly it is which irritates my back end. So cleanse all food stuffs out of my system, and then start feeding them in slowly. Maybe getting a bit tipsy last night wasn't the best way to start.

Mmmmm

Respect Your Elders!

My nunk says I write too much in my blog for people to read.

I give too much away about myself.

But if you didn't know me, I doubt that you would know this was me. Very few people actually see the me behind the face I present to the real world.

I panicked when he said that and wondered if I had written some booze addled diatribe (like Wee-Devil), but I read it back, and actually, it just reads back like the last week of my life.

If I wrote ALL my thoughts, then we'd really have a problem.

Tool is horrified at the prospect of Gran (my mum) having sex. Not just on the living room carpet mind!.


DWNB

That doesn't mean my eyes will soon be ......

There is a British pre-occupation with the weather.

I'm very distressed that everyone I meet in the office says "humph, British Summer,,,, where was it this year". Now I don't know about you, but I've not been wearing a jacket to the office since March, and I've only had frizzy hair due to misty rain twice, so that in my mind constitutes a very nice summer. My kids played outside, our holiday in a little island was idylic with heat stroke, and my garden doesn't look half bad. A wee bit of rain never killed anyone (with the exception of the biblical floods, and I'm not that sure that's true).

Today however, it is not summer, yesterday wasn't really either. Is very windy and yesterday although not freezing was definitely Autumnal. It has rained all night and my dining room patio doors have been leaking. I have a puddle.

I have just noticed a wee badge lying on the floor next to the puddle. Is a Sad Cafe Badge. Remember them? I only remember one record. Everyday hurts. I remember I bought it in Speed Records. I didn't understand the name of the shop - Speed - then? I thought it was a reflection on the turning of a turntable.... ie. 45 or 33, or 78, even the mushroom in the board above the shop didn't give me a hint. I was honestly the most innocent teenager in the world. (or stupid). Glenn worked behind the counter, and apparently he was gay. I only knew this because my worldly wise friend had an uncle who was gay and had told her gay speak so she recognised gay guys. He gave me the badge. He used to give us Promo Singles which he didn't want. We loved Glenn. I think he made us cool, because he spoke to us on friendly terms.

The records he gave us were all crap. He probably thought we were the most annoying kids in the world and hoped that if he gave us records we'd piss off out his shop!

DWNB

Ain't No Mountain High Enough.....

Boys are away, up another hill.

Look at it. Looks kinda pathetic next to the sight that was Ben Nevis eh? Also very concerned about the number of people milling about! I thought Wales was Supposed to be deserted? Maybe is all Scottish and English People chanking up hill before Welsh come and chase them all away.

Have discovered that Wee-Devil is still in land of living, although I believe she was four sheets to the wind last night (nautical term). She was leaving one project and moving to another, and seems to have been well tanked up prior to getting home. Just hope that she woke up alone!! Not saying anything else on that subject!


Okay - Something went badly wrong with wee-people-covered hill. Look at cliffs now. I hope my honey is going to be okay. He was housebound after Nevis. Couldn't work his leggies any more. Scaefell was better, but if he has to do this to the top, not looking good.

Have already been up ages this morning, achieved very little. Did paper round, (suppose that was achievement in itself), dropped Eilidh at Hockey practise and then came back for a lie down. Picked Eilidh up, picked up Steven's blazer - all beautifully embroidered now. Am impressed with my childrens ability to dedicate themselves to their chosed pastimes! Something I could never do.

Am about to jump in shower, after Eilidh, and then we are going to go hockey stick shopping.

DWNB