It is most defo Autumn. I love Autumn, although Shit Things happen in Autumn. Well they did. They don't now, because life is good.
My Dad died in Autumn, the anniversary is in 4 days, 3rd, October, and I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
It was a no- weather day, like today. Grey, overcast, not hot, not cold, but somewhere in between, stillness in the air, and no wind. There was an Autumn smell, and that, was there today.
I had a sore throat. When I was in Edinburgh I always had a sore throat!
I had been in for a lecture, and was bimbling home at lunchtime. I was waiting to hear that the Council would agree to fund me sitting Risk Management and Insurance, and whole two year course, for Little Ol Me on my ownsome. I met Willie, a bar man who worked in a Pub I used to frequent in the other side of Edinburgh before we moved to the heady heights of Sighthill. He bought me an ice lolly for my sore throat, and dropped me off at home. I'm not sure what I did between then, and late in the afternoon, probably slept, because then, like now, my favourite pastime was sleeping.
I got a call from the college to say that the meeting had gone in my favour, and I would be getting to sit a course all on my own for the last two years of my course! ha ha . Mega. As I would say. Boris (my flatmate Janice) and me had Sausage casserole for tea, (- maybe that's what I was doing), and then we made our other flatmate Steve beg us to let him watch Startrek. We were REALLY cruel to him.
I picked the phone up to phone home and tell them my good news, and first sign that things weren't right. My Nant picked up the phone. I asked why she was answering the phone, and she said, "it's okay, don't panic, Jacqui and John are on their way over". My mind was racing, I knew something was wrong.
Then mum came on the phone and said, "helen, it's okay, but Dad had a heart attack today." In my mind she was telling me he was okay, and in hospital, but then she said "he died", and I slid down the wall, listening her to tell me to stay where I was, Jacqui was on her way to get me.
I gave the phone to Janice who listened to my mum for a minute and then hung up, I walked into my room, and put on my Tape recorder, and then slammed it off, thinking " I don't want to hear a song to remind me", but I heard it, only a couple of bars, and to this day "Wire", by U2" always takes me back to that day.
Janice and me sat on my bed contemplating how good life had been in the last couple of weeks. Jannie had come home with me, and her and dad had spent time sneaking out the back for a quick fag every hour or so - they had got on so well together. We had all been at a wedding - jees My pal was still on her honeymoon.
We moved thru to Jannie's room and watched out the window for Jacqui and John.
I think it is most definitely the singularly saddest time of my life.
Mum, Me and Jacqui are all going on on Wednesday for a drink to remember Dad!
22 years, and it still seems like yesterday.
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