Wednesday, April 23, 2008

We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage

So there I was, standing in my kitchen, and I looked up.

The crazy ole lady from next door was standing on the kerb stone round my petite garden.

She grinned wildly at me and dropped her toe on to the grass. Then Lifted it out. I ignored her, as best I could as I stood washing my dishes; but in, out, in, out , in out she went. In retrospect I should have been impressed that an old bird could move as quickly as she was.

But, things being as they were, I was in the throws of an "episode". Nothing was rational to me, and her waving to me and mouthing "i'm in your garden" was driving me nothing short of insane. I lifted a knife from the drying board and waved it at her, and she took off like the clappers of hell.

She didn't go home, oh no. She went across the road, out of stabbing distance, and proceeded to visit all the neighbours on the opposite side of the road from me. I watched, my panic increasing as she stood on each doorstep, yapping away and pointing across the road at me.

I retained enough calm to stay in the house until she had had enough and went home, and then I headed out, over to the same neighbours. I chapped each door, and asked the neighbours in turn what she had been saying about me.

Jeesus H Christ. When I think back to the looks on their faces.

Bad enough being confronted by mental old Woman, but to then be harassed by mental young woman seeking confirmation that mental old woman was telling them I was mad must have scared the beejeezuz out of them!

I was mad, Indeed. And to all those people. I apologise profusely.

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