Sunday, August 10, 2008

I focus on the pain

I had the sorest migraine today.

I'm still hurt. I vomitted so hard my throat is wretched. The force of the vomitting made blood vessels burst in the side of my face.

I'm gorgeous.

Jees. I was panicking - normally I take myself to a place in my head where I can be calm. But this morning, I couldnt get there.

I pulled my dressing gown on and went out side to try and cool down, but that didn't work either. I took painkillers, and vomitted them up - all pink. I took more painkillers, and vomitted them - a bit stuck in the dingly dangly bit in my throat and I could take the cocodamol disintegrating at the back of my throat.

I shouted for Si, and a face cloth. I lay there holding on to his hand, cloth on face, until I reached my happy place - this time it was walking into the Ardneil, to see Si waiting for me, and all our guests watching on, and I, grinning widely took my place beside Si to take my vows.

Eventually I fell asleep, content to live in the moment of our wedding, and that banished the pain until the real pain subsided.

I think that might be true love. That he sits there with me in the howling mess that I get into, and takes away my pain.

No comments:

Post a Comment